How can one even attempt to review a movie like The A-Team?

a) It’s based off an 80′s live TV show that was essentially a cartoon.

b) Never for one second does it attempt to be anything else but dumb summertime fun.

c) Mr. T and Rampage Jackson played B.A. Baracus…can you really review anything with these two as main actors?

“Fire everything!” exclaimed Hannibal aka Liam Neeson. And so they did. Wow. There is no simple way to explain what I saw on the screen. Besides lots of shaky cam and disregard to a plausible plotline, I’m almost embarrassed to say that I really enjoyed this movie due to the dumb fun it was. The number one culprit of the straight dumb summer fun were the ridiculous stunts (which of course made zero sense). Last week I showcased a snippet of THIS absurd scene from the film. After witnessing it in full context, it is even more batshit crazy. In what logical sense would a writer script the following scene:

An airplane flown by the A-Team gets blasted out of the sky. That airplane happened to have a tank in it. The entire A-Team just happens to get into the tank as the airplane gets shot (let me remind you, they were FLYING the plane). The infamous tank just happens to have just the right amount of parachutes on it to slow down the freefall, you know, in case it ever needed to fly. And then the one liners come flying. The “best” one comes from Bradley “Face” Cooper “Hey Boss, it’s a little stuffy. I’m gonna pop a window.” And so he does. And the cackler shoots planes out of the sky with the tank flying through the air.

Of course, this isn’t ridiculous enough.

To slow down their free fall, they strategically face the barrel of the tanks gun towards the ground. Each shot slows down their momentum. When they get closer…”Fire everything.”

If you can watch/read this and smiled, then The A-Team is for you.

There really is nothing more I need to say. I can explain to you how perfect Sharlto Copley (District 9) was as the mentally unstable Murdock. I can tell you how ready-made Bradley Cooper is for the role of the womanizing Face. I can beg you to understand how perfect Liam Neeson is in practically everything (except Star Wars). But there’s no reason. You’re either in or you’re out. Sure, there’s no plot. Pike…plates…revenge…wrongfully accused…whatever.

The A-Team. Asinine. Ambitious. Awesome. Ambiguous. Awestruck. Ample. Autrageous. Autterly Ridiculous.