For what its worth, check out the Oscar Nominees HERE. We now live in a world where the phrase “Academy Award Nominee Jonah Hill” is a reality.

Here are FIVE reasons this slew of nominations is ridiculously disappointing.

1. SHAME on the Academy for being such prudes. I get it, it’s not easy to watch a chronic masturbator/sex addict live his life. But man, Michael Fassbender hairy palms hands down had the best performance of the year in this film. George Clooney doesn’t even come close to this painful performance.  NC-17 + sex is too much for the prudes to handle. Grow up, Academy. Oh wait, you’re all over 80 years old.

2. I wasn’t expecting DRIVE to get a Best Picture nomination (even though it deserved it), but no Albert Brooks nom for Best Supporting Actor?!  In one of his greatest performances to date, Albert Brooks has to live with the fact that Jonah Hill will be getting fitted for a tux very shortly.

3. I refuse to see EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE. Who wants to watch something so obviously manipulative?!  Rotten Tomatoes currently has it at 51% — which means it’s not very good. And it was nominated for BEST PICTURE?!  How did this happen? What type of underground campaigning was going on? Things that make you go, hmmm.

4. While THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN wasn’t perfect, there is no denying the quality of animation there.  Even with a flat script, there were many jaw dropping scenes that stood above the pack of animated fare in 2011. Apparently, the Academy thinks Kung Fu Panda 2 is a more worthy animated film. *Shaking my head in disbelief*

5.  In an effort to seem hip and celebrate mainstream films, BRIDESMAIDS received two nominations (Supporting Actress & Original Screenplay). While the movie was funny, it has no place on Oscar night.  This nomination feels more like the Golden Globes.

With all that being said, I’m really happy that The Tree of Life got it’s fair shake. It was a divisive film, but a film that had more brains than most of the nominees combined. And to justify my watching the awards, one of my favorite films of 2011 has the most nominations (HUGO). If you want to feel warm and fuzzy inside, check it out.

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When Wes Anderson releases a new film, you should pay attention.  He’s one of the few American directors out there with a unique style and sense towards story and directing in film. When you see a Wes Anderson film, you know it, even if you never see his name on the credits.  On May 25th, his latest venture into quirk will be released. Moonrise Kingdom stars Edward Norton, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray and more in what looks to be a welcome throwback to the sweetness of Rushmore.

One problem. Is this TOO Wes Anderson-ey? In other words, is it so quirky that it walks the fine line of Anderson satirizing himself? We went down this route with another defined filmmaker, Quentin Tarantino. Death Proof was TOO much QT. You could almost feel him in the background clapping at everyone one of his scripted lines. Let’s hope not. This cast, this idea, this sepia toned cinematography has too much potential.

Set on an island off the coast of New England in the summer of 1965, MOONRISE KINGDOM tells the story of two twelve-year-olds who fall in love, make a secret pact, and run away together into the wilderness. As various authorities try to hunt them down, a violent storm is brewing off-shore — and the peaceful island community is turned upside down in more ways than anyone can handle. Bruce Willis plays the local sheriff. Edward Norton is a Khaki Scout troop leader. Bill Murray and Frances McDormand portray the young girl’s parents. The cast also includes Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman, and Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward as the boy and girl.

Check out the trailer after the jump!

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#6  The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

“I have no idea what I just saw, but it looks AMAZING!” – My thoughts after watching this trailer for the 5th time in a row.

“WTF? Really? That’s what all the hype was about?!” – My thoughts after the disappointment of the actual film.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo — another example of great marketing; sub-par product. Fantastic cover by Trent Reznor/Karen O of “Immigrant Song” (Listen to it here). The use of quick edits to showcase David Fincher’s stylized directing is superb. The trailer is intriguing and gives nothing away. I loved it. Just didn’t love the movie.

#5  Drive

One of the best things about this trailer is that it hides NOTHING. What you see here is what you get (minus a few smashed heads). It’s intense. It’s gritty. It’s all kinds of awesome. And unlike most trailers, this is the actual music from the film (I highly recommend checking out the soundtrack…Spotify – hint hint). It sets the mood perfectly. My only complaint is that it gives almost too much of the story here.

#4  Shame

If you think this trailer makes you feel a bit uneasy, wait til you see the film. Michael Fassbender should win an Oscar for his portrayal as a sex addict. Unfortunately, the Academy is a bunch of prudes. The trailer encompasses the claustrophobic feeling of Fassbender’s lack of self control in a very subtle way.  You hear the heavy breathing (he’s running, it’s not what you’re thinking), the sweeping music, and the visuals of sexual deviance. This trailer intrigues while not overplaying it’s hand.  Additionally, they came out with another brilliant trailer that speaks for itself. Carey Mulligan’s rendition of “New York, New York” is one of the most depressing versions…ever

#3  Like Crazy

This trailer broke my heart. And that might subconsciously be why I still haven’t seen the movie. With mixed reviews, I was afraid it would ruin the emotion that these two minutes brings to the table. How often do you worry about a movie ruining the marketing? From Ingrid Michaelson’s haunting cover of “Can’t Help Falling in Love” to the soft, almost dreamlike visuals – this trailer is a great example of how a song choice can perfectly set the mood in film marketing. From these two minutes, you know there is love, there is heartbreak, and it’s safe to guess things won’t end up well. I need to see this.

#2  Super 8

This was a perfect trailer. It set up the backstory perfectly, teased the twist of the plot, yet told you absolutely nothing. All while warming your heart to a Speilberg-esque looking film. It had just the right touch of nostalgia for adults and intrigue for kids. If only the 2nd half of the movie wasn’t such a literal and figurative trainwreck. Once the train crashed and wreckage was explored, the movie turned silly. So close, yet so far. Super 8 trailer is how you invoke the emotions of past films loved while showing something new. As an example of what strings they were tugging on, check Spielberg’s E.T. and Close Encounters of the Third Kind trailers. All three are essentially the same trailer. Kids, intrigue, mean adults, caring adults, wide eyes, the military…you’ll see.

#1:  The Tree of Life

The Tree of Life was one of the most polarizing movies in quite some time.  Many people absolutely loved it, naming it one of the best of the year. Others, absolutely hated it.  Some were in awe of the spiritual and philosophical aspects of the script. Others viewed it as a pretentious mess. Love or hate this film, there is no denying the intrigue of this trailer. Life and humanity is flashed before your eyes in a quick 2 minutes.  There is much mystery to what the film is actually about, yet the small tidbits are enticing enough to want more.  The music haunts, comforts, and whisks you away. This is just a beautiful trailer and stands alone as a piece of art.

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The film is one of the best of the franchise. My only complaint is the villain is not as strong as previous installments.  It’s not like anyone is going to top Phillip Seymour Hoffman, but would have liked to see some effort. This guy was just too cool for school.

For pure entertainment value, check this one out. You won’t be disappointed. To tell you anymore would ruin the fun. Also, I’m lazy and don’t want to write about it anymore.

Now for the real story. What is up with Tom Cruise and his crazy sprint in every movie (he does it 3 times in M:I 4)? I thought I was the only one fixated on this, but then I did a few keystrokes on the ole Google and learned otherwise. Looks like Tom Cruise is running in everyones minds.

Below, you’ll find two videos I created in my mind found on the world wide web. In the first gem, you’ll see the evolution of the Tom Cruise run. From his early trot to his present day crazed sprint. In the second piece of art, you’ll be treated to a montage of the great runs of Tom Cruise. He runs from the explosion. He runs towards the girl. He runs.  Now I have a greater appreciation of his portrayal of wheelchair bound Vietnam Vet, Ron Kovic, in Born on the Fourth of July. You can’t run in a wheelchair. *

*Actually, the first video shows him running pre-wheelchair at the 1:00 min mark. I stand corrected. Running must be in his contract.

Please stretch before watching this.

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The Descendants

Alexander Payne continues his “man in turmoil” series with this one. If you’re not familiar with Payne’s work, you need to catch up and watch Election, About Schmidt, and Sideways. The male protagonist in each film is at a major crossroads. The Descendants continues this trip.  This film will generate a ton of Oscar buzz — most deservedly to George Clooney in one of his strongest and most complicated roles to date. The film successfully walks the fine line of sadness along with genuine humor. The trailer really doesn’t capture the true essence of the film. Watch it with a grain of salt. This isn’t the film you’ll see.

Grade: B+

Hugo

After seeing this film, I now realize why word of mouth is so important. There is no way any type of marketing can give the film justice. The trailer is just OK (nauseating voiceover) and the artwork was average at best. But the film itself, was pure movie magic. Martin Scorsese takes his first true shot at a family film and hit it out of the park. Outside of Avatar, this was the best use of 3D I’ve ever seen. No joke. It’s not a kids movie. It’s not really even really a family film. The entire movie is simply Scorsese’s love letter to film as a whole. I’m not going to spoil anything, but the history of film and how we got to the point of 3D is lovingly explored. It’s sad, it’s thrilling, it’s perfect. I understand — the trailer doesn’t give you any hints to this. But if you have the chance, check this one out in glorious 3D.  If you are a cinephile like myself, you will be in pure movie heaven. If you simply love the art of film or the feeling you get watching something moving and inspiring projected on the screen…go see Hugo. It’s one of the best movies of the year.

Grade: A

Shame

This movie will ruin you. It hits you and it hits you hard. The first time I watched Leaving Las Vegas I remember telling myself, “Well, that’s never going to go away”, and it didn’t. I think about the raw power of that film more than I’d probably like. Shame feels the same way. It’s raw. It’s troubling. It’s powerful. It will stay with you for a long time. Director Steve McQueen (Hunger) and actor Michael Fassbender (X:Men First Class, Inglorious Basterds) are two people you should pay very close attention to. They will be the force of Hollywood in the very near future. Fassbender deserves an Oscar for this performance for his role as a sex addict. The main problem is that the film is NC-17. Would the conservative and cranky Academy actually reward a film this controversial? This performance is worth seeing. Regarding the rating, yes, this film truly deserves it. The media likes to discuss the full frontal male/female nudity in this. But there are a few sex scenes that truly move it past the typical R rating. As McQueen eloquently stated (and I’m paraphrasing), “who doesn’t know about nudity and sex?” As adults, we shouldn’t act like this is so shocking — especially if it’s done tastefully and within reason.

Grade: A-

The Muppets

Mahna, Mahna! Doo doo, da do do!

There isn’t much to say here. I was always going to love this movie. It had to be horrendous for me not to adore it. It lived up to expectations to the fullest. If you want to smile for 1 1/2 hours, watch The Muppets. If you need a break from the stress of daily life, watch The Muppets. If you want a kids movie that is aimed at adults, watch The Muppets. You’ll laugh (I did), you’ll cry (others did), you’ll cheer (of course I did). What a great movie to cherish.

Grade: You don’t grade Muppets, you just enjoy them.

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The Muppets are known for great songs in their films. Most notably (and easily the best), is “The Rainbow Connection” from 1979′s The Muppet Movie. The song was nominated for an Academy Award, but lost to this pile of feces.

The Rainbow Connection is a combination of absolute sweetness with the undertones of sadness and a philosophy of life. It’s deep and insane that it exists within a Muppets movie.

I ran track from age 5 all the way through high school. During big track meets, I would get insanely nervous. I felt as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. As the lead up to the big race would tick forward, I would need to find a way to calm down. This song always did the trick. Shut out the world and listen to the sad banjo of Kermit the Frog. If you’ve never heard this song or if you’ve never truly LISTENED to this song, I beg you to give it a chance.

Before getting into the song (bottom of the post), here’s a few quick thoughts on some key lyrics.

“Someday we’ll find it, the Rainbow Connection”

Essentially, the “rainbow connection” is the path between us and our dreams. We grow up with so many hopes and dreams of the future, but life (and adulthood) gets in the way. Somewhere along the path, we lose our focus on that connection which makes our dreams come true. Kermit is implying that it’s something you are searching for (your calling in life) or something that was lost (your dreams). What is your purpose? Yes, Kermit is deep.

“What’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing?

What do we think we might see?”

We keep searching for the meaning of it all — but can’t seem to grasp it yet.

“Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?

I’ve heard them calling my name.”

Kermit is telling you to listen to that internal voice. Deep inside, you know the path that should be taken. Slow down. Listen to your inner voice. He goes on to say…

“I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it.

It’s something that I’m supposed to be.”

This furthers his point. Listen to your internal voice. With the lightening fast journey that life takes you through, it’s too easy to lose focus on yourself. Slow down. And focus. If Kermit wasn’t such a sweet frog, he should be pissed at Oprah. Her entire empire is built off the philosophy of The Rainbow Connection. Kermit may have a lawsuit on his hands.

This is the greatest song ever created for a movie. Period.

Now go see The Muppets this weekend!  I don’t care if you don’t have kids. You are never too old to enjoy a Muppet movie.

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Yes, I attended the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 World Premiere in Los Angeles. And no matter what I try, I cannot unsee it or erase it from my mind. I’m haunted. I’m tarnished. A small piece of me has died inside.

Let me be absolutely clear – when asked to attend, my original thought was “no.” I have wisely passed on watching any of the previous films. I knew the gist of it – Love triangle, vampires, werewolves, Team Jacob/Edward, blah blah blah. But really, how bad could the movie be?  It’s not my cup of tea (I’m not a 14 year old girl), but there HAD to be some semblance of quality.  After a 10 minute Wiki session, I was caught up and ready to watch the first part of the final chapter of one of the most successful movie franchises ever. At least I thought…

I made a key mistake in preparing to watch this film. For the past week, the news was covering the fact that Twi-hards were camping at the Nokia Center to catch a glimpse of the cast. Unlike Occupy Wall Street — they had a clear message: They lusted over Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner and the world was going to know. I was not prepared for the madness. But how could anyone prepare for this?

* This really happened

* Yes, that 10 year old girl is holding a “Sexy Beast” Robert Pattinson sign.

* Not sure what’s more disturbing — the misuse of the word “Brake” instead of “Break” or the reality of the message she’s expressing.  Wow.

Walking past the Red Carpet was crazier than a World Cup event. If you can go through your entire life without having to hear 10,000 tween girls screaming in unison, consider yourself lucky. My ears are still ringing. Girls were going absolutely nuts outside. Ridiculous signs bordering on inappropriate (lots of sex-themed signs from young girls). Crying was the norm. It felt like I walked into a teen girl version of The Walking Dead. Quickly, I made my way to the 7,000 seat theater to watch the film and give it a fair shake. Director Bill Condon (Gods & Monsters, Dreamgirls) was at the helm this time , so I felt it deserved the benefit of the doubt.

Popcorn…Diet Coke…Restroom…then I sit down around a crowd of seemingly adult looking beings. All is well.

And then the lights go out.

Man.

It was Beatles mania times 10. The shrieks sounded off throughout the darkened theater at a pitch not of this Earth. Girls went ape-shit.

The title credits appear — SHRIEKS!

Bella (Kristen Stewart) makes her first appearance – MAD SHRIEKS!!

Edward (Robert Pattinson) contemplates the upcoming wedding – SQUEALS OF DELIGHT!

Jacob (Taylor Lautner) rips off his shirt in anger – HEAD’S LITERALLY EXPLODED. I HAD TO USE A NAPKIN TO WIPE OFF THE REMNANTS.

One would think the crowd would settle down after each of the intros. I am a fool. This lasted the entire nauseating 2 hours up to the final money shot (I won’t spoil it).

But was the movie actually bearable? Absolutely not. I’ve seen a lot of bad movies in my lifetime. This ranked right up there with some of the worst. Terrible CGI (cars can transform into giant robots and look believable in Transformers, but they couldn’t pull off a human to wolf transition). The script was absolutely horrid. A choice line: “It’s crushing you, from the inside out.” – Edward in regards to her obviously deadly pregnancy. (Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Ed). There were so many bad lines, many people laughed out loud. The Carter Burwell score(who I personally really enjoy)  had the sound of a telenovela. An overly dramatic piano score played throughout the film whenever we weren’t bombarded with a cheesy soft rock song.

Absolutely nothing happened in the film until over an hour had passed. And even then, it was hardly a game changer. Some people wolves got mad. Then they snarled. Then they ran through the woods. Literally, that was it.

I know you’re dying to hear about the anticipated wedding. Let’s put it this way – the wedding and reception made the Melancholia wedding seem like a blast. What a giant BORE. The honeymoon was horrendous.  Do people really spend their time playing chess all day on their honeymoon?

Splitting this final movie into two was an obvious cash grab. But sadly for fans — besides the anticipated sex scene, there really isn’t much in this first part. If you’re into cheesy flashback montages, wooden acting, and laughable one-liners — then this movie is for you. Want to have a great laugh? Wait til you see the wolves “talking” in auto-tuned voiceover. Oh my.

I could go on and on. I don’t need to save you from watching this. Either your a fanatic or your not.

I’m not embarrassed to say that I sat through this “film”.  I’m just disturbed that I can’t get the travesty out of my mind. It’s haunting. Don’t make the same mistake that I made.

alpaca plural of al·pac·a (Noun)

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I’ll probably lose the one ounce of credibility I have left here in speaking the truth on a very important subject matter. Tom Cruise is a great actor. And more importantly, he’s usually in good movies.

Say whatever you want about the man — Crazy, Annoying, Over Acting, Scientologist — I’m 100% all in on Team Cruise. Say what you want about his supposed fake marriage (ridiculous), sexual identity (who cares), or his acting chops (you’re wrong), Tom Cruise is the man.  Name another actor that can match up to this body of work:  The Outsiders, Top Gun, The Color of Money, Rain Man, Born on the Fourth of July, A Few Good Men, Mission Impossible franchise, Jerry Maguire, Magnolia, Eyes Wide Shut, and Minority Report. And that’s without even mentioning a few of his classics Risky Business and Cocktail.  Find your favorite actor/actress and check their movies on IMDB. NO ONE matches up to Mr. Cruise. No one. I’m not saying he’s the best actor, I’m just saying that he knows how to pick the right films. Even with his occasional duds, he always swings for the fences.

This is exactly why I don’t automatically dismiss a fourth film from the dying Mission:Impossible franchise. A few other reasons you should be interested:

• Brad Bird (director of the wonderful Iron Giant and The Incredibles) is making his live action debut as a director
• Jeremy Renner is the co-star
• Tom Cruise performed most of his own stunts. Want to see him jump out of the tallest skyscraper in the world (over a mile and a half UP)? I don’t care how much safety gear you have on, this man is crazy.  Check out the behind the scenes nuttery right HERE.

Now that you have been fully convinced WHY this movie has potential, check out the great trailer after the jump. Sometimes dumb action is good — especially when Tom Cruise is performing it. Watch Tom outrun an explosion. Watch him outrun a tornado looking thing. Watch him outrun Usain Bolt.

Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

Release Date:  December 21st, 2011

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It was just announced that the first 6 minutes of the highly anticipated Dark Knight Rises will be attached to Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol on December 16th in IMAX only.  So far, my interest in Mission: Impossible has been minimal. The only thing that has me intrigued is to see director Brad Bird’s (The Incredibles, The Iron Giant) first live action effort. The addition of Jeremy Renner isn’t a bad thing, either. But now I’m sure that I’ll be there opening week. I’m the same guy that attended Avatar Day (16 minutes of footage). Don’t think that only 6 minutes of Dark Knight Rises will keep me away.

See ya soon, Tom.  But what’s up with this horrible poster? What disease does your character have? Yikes.

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I’ve known for a few weeks that today, October 11th, was the day we’d get the first real teaser trailer for next summer’s blockbuster The Avengers.  And ever since I’ve known this, I’ve been wanting to hate everything that I saw. Thor gave me a sour taste in this franchise. Captain America was good, but instantly forgettable. And let’s not talk about how terrible the last Iron Man movie was. But The Avengers is everyone together — including The Hulk and Hawkeye. It’s the Dream Team of superhero movies. It’s Lebron/Dwyane Wade/Chris Bosh. It’s Jay-Z/Kanye watchin’ the throne. The whole gang is together as one unstoppable force. Yay!

Did I hate it? No. Did it get me excited for the film? Not at all.

First off — fire whoever had final say on the music used here. Terrible.  And while lots of stuff be explodin’ and jokes be flyin’ around — something seems completely ho-hum about it all. Robert Downey Jr. is always good — so his lines worked. But something is off about this trailer. Maybe it’s the fact that Thor is a God working alongside a bunch of gadgets. Why would he need these humans? He has the hammer.  Maybe it’s the fact that Samuel L. looks like he’s just phoning it in — reading lines, not acting. Or possibly it’s my most hated move in action movies. The land on one knee and hand while slowly raising your head move that Scarlett Johansson pulls at the 1:24 mark.

After the jump, decide for yourself. Are you ready to assemble? Or are you ready for something fresh and new?

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Early buzz around this film promises this one to be darker and edgier than Reitman’s previous three films, but still stays true to his impressive slate. This trailer does a great job of introducing the characters, while promising much more under the surface.  In my opinion, Reitman has gone 3 for 3 in directing. I’ve loved all of them equally for vastly different reasons.  If Diablo Cody reels in her Diablo-ness (see: every piece of dialogue in Juno), this could be another hit (and Oscar nod) for her. I’m predicting this one hits it out of the park and gets the Best Picture & Best Director Oscar nominations — at the very least. You heard it here first. Ka-BOOM!

Check out the trailer after the jump.

Academy Award(R) winner Charlize Theron plays Mavis Gary, a writer of teen literature who returns to her small hometown to relive her glory days and attempt to reclaim her happily married high school sweetheart (Patrick Wilson). When returning home proves more difficult than she thought, Mavis forms an unusual bond with a former classmate (Patton Oswalt) who hasn’t quite gotten over high school, either.

Young Adult

Release Date: December 19th

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After the jump, I have a little game for you. I have three clips/trailers. Two are fake Adam Sandler videos — they are spoofs from the movie Funny People.  One is a real movie releasing this year. Figure out which one is real. Good luck, my friends. Adam Sandler hasn’t been funny for many, many years — I get it. But his new film, well, it’s embarrassing like that drunken uncle that hits on your girlfriend during Thanksgiving dinner.

Do YOU remember when Adam Sandler was funny? Remember when Al Pacino was a respected actor (Proof HERE and HERE). This movie Jack and Jill represents everything wrong with the current state of Hollywood. I hate that Al Pacino is in this movie. I hate that this movie exists. Somewhere in Los Angeles, a director/actor/writer was turned down by the guy that greenlit this shit movie.

Don’t believe me — check out what the South Park guys thought about Jack and Jill.

R.I.P. Adam

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