Everybody Hates M. Night
I’d like to say I started it all. It began as an angry whisper. Soon it turned to loud disdain. It is now utter disgust. Last year, I proclaimed my hate for a certain director of The Sixth Sense. Some laughed. Others thought it was a bit ridiculous. Now the world understands.
Back in July, I was at the Arclight nerdily bouncing in my chair waiting for Inception to start. Lights out. Commercial commercial. Shush Shush. Glistening popcorn. Then…Previews. The last preview before the film was for Devil. No one had seen this trailer yet. Whoa. There’s the guy from (500) Days of Summer. No, not Joseph Gordon-Levitt. The guy married to the girl from Mad Men. Wait, isn’t the black security guard from Dead Presidents? An elevator…hmm. Not interesting.
And then it happened.
The screen faded to black.
And in BOLD red text -
I kid you not — there was audible laughter. Snickers. A collective groan. I was so proud of those people I could have stood up and made out with every one of them.
Everybody hates M. Night.
And I love everybody.
I ran to the internets after the film not to find out what the hell I just watched (c’mon, everyone knows how straightforward Inception was…ahem), but to see if this phenomenon happened elsewhere. Reports of laughter and groans were rampant. Don’t believe me? Google: “Audience laughs at Devil Trailer”
Today I feel vindicated. The world has joined my battle.
Everybody hates M. Night.
This weekend a film “From the Mind of M. Night…” will be released. If Devil was released “From the Depths of My Asshole” I’d be more confident in a coherent, thought provoking, intriguing story. But it’s not. It’s from the mind of someone who spewed upon us The Last Airbender, The Happening, Lady in the Water, The Village, and Signs. How many times will the “M.Night” brand fail you? How many times will you fall for the eerie trailer, only to find out the movie is about evil trees? Did any of you see The Happening? Watch this :47 second clip from the film. I guarantee you’ll think this is fake. It is so utterly terrible, you’ll consider it a spoof. This really happened. I was a better actor as one of The Seven Dwarfs in my elementary school play. From the mind of…
Everybody hates M. Night.
One of the few modern films I’ve seen with a complete blank slate (minimal trailers, zero knowledge of plot, etc.) was The Sixth Sense. When that ring dropped, my mouth dropped. Who was this brilliant man behind this amazing film? Little did I know, within a few years…
Everybody hates M. Night.
I know what you’re thinking. This is way too harsh on a poor guy just trying to find his way around Hollywood. Who cares that he has compared himself to Hitchcock and Spielberg in a NY Times article? After he raped and pillaged your money and mind with junk, you still don’t seem convinced the man is a complete hack and has the breath of Summer’s Eve. So, please, I beg you –check out this 3 minute press conference during The Last Airbender. A reporter asks the tough question, essentially stating “Everybody Hates M. Night.” She scanned my brain, read my blog, and asked M. Night the question that would come from Film Savior. Check out his response.
Maybe Devil will be great. I usually enjoy films that come from Universal. All I know is that I hate the mind of M. Night. Therefore, I’m probably gonna hate this movie.
“The Mind of M. Night” will be in theaters this Friday.
