DVD Review: White Dog (1982)
If only this film were called Ku Klux Kanine….
Sometimes the most fantastic premise and a ridiculously great trailer can be too good to be true. I was sold on renting White Dog immediately upon the discovery via FilmDrunk. Sigh. Such great hopes can lead to such great letdowns. Let me start off by acknowledging that I get the ambiguous message presented here. The dog is used as a vehicle to illustrate the cruelty, hatred, and anger that breeds from racism. It’s a sensitive subject matter. But no matter what, when we’re talking about racist white dogs, you’ve got to chuckle a bit.
via Wikipedia: White Dog is a 1982 American drama film directed by Samuel Fuller loosely based on Romain Gary’s 1970 novel of the same title The film depicts the struggle of a dog trainer named Keys (Paul Winfield), who is black, trying to retrain a stray dog found by a young actress (Kristy McNichol), that is a “white dog”—a dog trained to viciously attack any black person. Fuller uses the film as a platform to deliver an anti-racist message as it examines the question of whether racism is a treatable problem or an incurable condition.
Problem #1 – The first person the dog attacks is WHITE. Doesn’t that sort of defeat the premise of the movie?
Problem #2 – The music that runs throughout the entire movie is unbearably over dramatic. You’ll hear it in the trailer. But this lasts for an entire 93 minutes.
Problem #3 – Every single actor in the film is terrible.
Problem #4 – See problem #3
This movie is a snoozefest. It’s not even funny bad. It’s anger-inducing bad. I’ve read some surprisingly positive reviews of this 1982 film. It was also released as part of the Criterion Collection (“important classic and contemporary films”) Don’t be fooled. Seriously, don’t waste your time.
Instead of watching this Unstoppable trainwreck (hey-o), watch the trailer and read these great quotes instead.
“You got a four legged time bomb!” – Cue dramatic music
“I wanted to put a bullet in that son of a bitch.” – (Get it, a bitch is a female dog. And White Dog is LITERALLY a son of a bitch! Hey-O!!) Cue dramatic music
“That’s a white dog!” – Cue over dramatic music
Consider yourself saved.
