84th Academy Award Nominations Are In — Here are the Top 5 Disappointments
Every year I somehow care about the Academy Award nominations. They don’t affect me one bit, but I still seem to be concerned about it. Will such n’ such finally get their deserved praise? Will the Academy recognize my favorite films? I guess it’s the only true barometer that matches my cinematic tastes to what the insiders are feeling. And it never seems to match up. The Academy plays favorites (George Clooney can talk out of his ass and get nominated), becomes prude to movies that push the boundaries (Drive, Shame), and seem to forget the smaller films released anytime outside the crowded November/December release schedule.
For what its worth, check out the Oscar Nominees HERE. We now live in a world where the phrase “Academy Award Nominee Jonah Hill” is a reality.
Here are FIVE reasons this slew of nominations is ridiculously disappointing.
1. SHAME on the Academy for being such prudes. I get it, it’s not easy to watch a chronic masturbator/sex addict live his life. But man, Michael Fassbender hairy palms hands down had the best performance of the year in this film. George Clooney doesn’t even come close to this painful performance. NC-17 + sex is too much for the prudes to handle. Grow up, Academy. Oh wait, you’re all over 80 years old.
2. I wasn’t expecting DRIVE to get a Best Picture nomination (even though it deserved it), but no Albert Brooks nom for Best Supporting Actor?! In one of his greatest performances to date, Albert Brooks has to live with the fact that Jonah Hill will be getting fitted for a tux very shortly.
3. I refuse to see EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE. Who wants to watch something so obviously manipulative?! Rotten Tomatoes currently has it at 51% — which means it’s not very good. And it was nominated for BEST PICTURE?! How did this happen? What type of underground campaigning was going on? Things that make you go, hmmm.
4. While THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN wasn’t perfect, there is no denying the quality of animation there. Even with a flat script, there were many jaw dropping scenes that stood above the pack of animated fare in 2011. Apparently, the Academy thinks Kung Fu Panda 2 is a more worthy animated film. *Shaking my head in disbelief*
5. In an effort to seem hip and celebrate mainstream films, BRIDESMAIDS received two nominations (Supporting Actress & Original Screenplay). While the movie was funny, it has no place on Oscar night. This nomination feels more like the Golden Globes.
With all that being said, I’m really happy that The Tree of Life got it’s fair shake. It was a divisive film, but a film that had more brains than most of the nominees combined. And to justify my watching the awards, one of my favorite films of 2011 has the most nominations (HUGO). If you want to feel warm and fuzzy inside, check it out.
The Best Trailers of 2011
Although I’ve seen a ton of films this year, I still have a few “must see” films left (4 to be exact). Before compiling my favorite movies of 2011 list, I wanted to take a look at some of the great trailer marketing of 2011. While Hollywood took a step back in the quality of film releases (more about that later), it really stepped up its marketing game in 2011. The trailers thrilled me us, teased me us, and got me us pumped to see the film opening weekend. . Unfortunately for some of these, they didn’t deliver on the promise. Here is my list of the best movie trailers of 2011 released films.
#6 The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
“I have no idea what I just saw, but it looks AMAZING!” – My thoughts after watching this trailer for the 5th time in a row.
“WTF? Really? That’s what all the hype was about?!” – My thoughts after the disappointment of the actual film.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo — another example of great marketing; sub-par product. Fantastic cover by Trent Reznor/Karen O of “Immigrant Song” (Listen to it here). The use of quick edits to showcase David Fincher’s stylized directing is superb. The trailer is intriguing and gives nothing away. I loved it. Just didn’t love the movie.
#5 Drive
One of the best things about this trailer is that it hides NOTHING. What you see here is what you get (minus a few smashed heads). It’s intense. It’s gritty. It’s all kinds of awesome. And unlike most trailers, this is the actual music from the film (I highly recommend checking out the soundtrack…Spotify – hint hint). It sets the mood perfectly. My only complaint is that it gives almost too much of the story here.
#4 Shame
If you think this trailer makes you feel a bit uneasy, wait til you see the film. Michael Fassbender should win an Oscar for his portrayal as a sex addict. Unfortunately, the Academy is a bunch of prudes. The trailer encompasses the claustrophobic feeling of Fassbender’s lack of self control in a very subtle way. You hear the heavy breathing (he’s running, it’s not what you’re thinking), the sweeping music, and the visuals of sexual deviance. This trailer intrigues while not overplaying it’s hand. Additionally, they came out with another brilliant trailer that speaks for itself. Carey Mulligan’s rendition of “New York, New York” is one of the most depressing versions…ever
#3 Like Crazy
This trailer broke my heart. And that might subconsciously be why I still haven’t seen the movie. With mixed reviews, I was afraid it would ruin the emotion that these two minutes brings to the table. How often do you worry about a movie ruining the marketing? From Ingrid Michaelson’s haunting cover of “Can’t Help Falling in Love” to the soft, almost dreamlike visuals – this trailer is a great example of how a song choice can perfectly set the mood in film marketing. From these two minutes, you know there is love, there is heartbreak, and it’s safe to guess things won’t end up well. I need to see this.
Continue reading “The Best Trailers of 2011” »
Top 5: The Most Disturbing Kids’ Movies
All of the trailers, posters, and interviews lead me to believe Super 8 was going to be a nod to my favorite childhood Spielberg films of the 80′s. The pre-hype had me waxing poetic to everyone within earshot. I was ready for a nostalgic journey to a time when kids rode BMX bikes, fell in love, and took amazing adventures into the surreal. And for the first hour, that journey was proven right. The adventure was fun and innocent, yet there was something profoundly deep under the surface. Innocence isn’t always innocent. The kid actors were perfectly cast and really put me back into the days of The Goonies and E.T. But then something went horribly wrong. The film turned into a monster movie that would have scared the hell out of my 10 year-old self. E.T. would never do this! The aliens in Close Encounters would never be this vicious! How did this film go so horribly wrong — I didn’t pay $19 IMAX prices to see Cloverfield again! And to top it off – the ending, oh boy, the ending. Phew. I’m not going to spoil anything here. Let’s just say I was less than enthusiastic about the last 20 minutes of the film. The first hour was everything I was hoping for and more. Kids making movies together, just like I used to do with my friends. Anything was possible. Then someone got bad advice on the direction of the rest of the film. Not sure if Spielberg or Abrams is to blame. But the ending was very A.I.-ish. Just sayin’.
When I was roughly 10 years old, The Goonies and The Ghoulies films were huge movies in their own way. The Goonies was beloved by kids everywhere, Ghoulies was notoriously bad. On my 10th birthday party, I begged and pleaded with my parents to rent The Goonies to watch with everyone. It was my favorite movie by a mile — what 10-year-old DIDN’T love Sloth?! My Grandpa innocently volunteered to pick up the rental on his way to the family party. Games, food, happy birthday song, and presents were complete — now was the time for the movie. They pop in the VHS cassette tape, and well, here is a scene from the movie that was rented.
I guess “Goonies” and “Ghoulies” can easily be mixed up. I can’t blame my Grandpa for this. But I was shaken to the core. This wasn’t The Goonies, this was my worst nightmare realized. I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen as I slowly became traumatized. To this day, I’m still hesitant to blindly sit down at the toilet. You never freakin’ know. Inspired by Super 8 and my Goonies/Ghoulies experience, I’ve compiled a list of the Top 5 most disturbing scenes in kids movies. They are the kind of scenes that would make a kid unknowingly uncomfortable and have a parent confused on whether to fast forward the movie or stop it all together. After the jump, realize your childhood nightmares all over again. Spoilers abound…
Continue reading “Top 5: The Most Disturbing Kids’ Movies” »
Top 5: Most Anticipated 2011 Summer Movies
If you are a 13 year-old boy with the mindstate of a 10 year old, Summer 2011 is the one for you! This summer is overrun by sequels and fanboy nerd madness. Thor (say that three times with a lisp), X-Men: First Class (it’s a reboot), Green Lantern (ugh), Captain America (Eff Yeah!), and more! If you like men in tights, this summer will get you hot and bothered.
That being said, there are actually some potentially great ones that I’m looking forward to. With so many big name brand films, it’s tough to decipher what’s going to be good, what’s going to be bad, and when everything is coming out. The marketing has been shoved down our throats since the Super Bowl and it’s not letting up soon.
In no particular order…
Super 8
It’s a JJ Abrams love letter tribute to Spielberg — a throwback to my favorite childhood movies. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am for this one. Kids making movies, monsters, family struggles, childhood crushes, explosions…it has it all. The marketing of this film has been perfect so far. Reveal just enough to excite everyone, but you really don’t know what it’s all about.
Synopsis: After witnessing a mysterious train crash, a group of friends in the summer of 1979 begin noticing strange happenings going around in their small town, and begin to investigate into the strange phenomenon.
Release Date: June 10th, 2011
The Tree of Life
The brilliant Terrance Malick has only made 5 films starting with 1973′s Badlands all the way to The Tree of Life. The elusive Austin, TX resident will step into the spotlight once more with this Brad Pitt/Sean Penn film that is about, well, no one really knows. We do know it’s about life. And dinosaurs are involved…seriously. Quite simply, it looks beautiful.
Synopsis: The story centers around a family with three boys in the 1950s. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence.
Release Date: May 27th, 2011
Continue reading “Top 5: Most Anticipated 2011 Summer Movies” »
Top 5: Shame on Me, I Failed You
My job on this site is simple: Provide everyone with an arsenal of film insight so you can make the best possible choices at your local theater. I’ve been on point early and often with films such as Avatar, Inglorious Basterds, The Social Network, Black Swan, and more. But in being disappointed by films in 2010 an inordinate amount of times, the realization quickly came to me: I failed you as Hollywood failed me. Granted, the below quotes often are a year before the film is released. But I have no excuses.
After the jump are my Top 5 off-point thoughts on upcoming films in 2010 that ended up deceiving me to the core. Enjoy — this won’t happen again.
Continue reading “Top 5: Shame on Me, I Failed You” »
Top 5: Streaming Netflix Movies at Work
I hate the annoying Facebook posts of “I hate Mondays” and “Is it Friday yet?” You have the entire world, er, Facebook friends group and you have nothing to contribute to the conversation but nonsense. If that’s you, STOP. But after a long holiday break, Monday’s truly do suck. I’ve got the perfect cure for post-holiday Monday blues — streaming Netflix movies! Close that office door, strategically move that monitor in your cubicle, or just let it be known – today will not get me down!
Being able to concentrate on a movie at work is an art form. You need that excel spreadsheet minimized at your disposal in case you need to make a quick switch of the screen. You’ll also need to be aware of your surroundings. Because of this, you don’t want to watch anything too deep or complicated. Inception might not be the best choice of films when THIS GUY is walking down the hall. You need something light, easy, good, fulfilling — something that will take the sorrow of Monday away while slowly bringing your mind back to the real world. As a present to you all – I bring to you – The Top 5 Movies to Stream at Work or Top 5 Movies that will make the Monday after the holiday suck a bit less.
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Top 50: Jackass Stunts
The Top 5 List will be extended to 50 today. Why? Because we’re talkin’ Jackass 3D. I’ve never laughed as hard or loud as I did watching Jackass 1 and 2 in theaters. On October 15th, Jackass 3D will change the format forever. Do I smell a Best Picture nomination brewing? This is one movie that I can be assured won’t fail. How can a giant hand slapping someone across the face NOT be funny? How can Steve-O getting bungeed while strapped to a Port-A-Potty NOT be funny? All in 3D! All of my film snobbish standards go out the door with Jackass.
These are too great to pass up – below are UGO’s Top 50 Jackass stunts. Continue reading “Top 50: Jackass Stunts” »
Top 5 Inception Mashups
YouTube brings out the best worst of our planet. Whether it be Bubb Rubb, Lil Superstar, or Cracked Out Abused Kid After the Dentist, we all win lose. One thing I personally hate is the million movie trailer mashups that appear after every hit movie. We all have access to editing tools with a few clicks of the mouse. Most people should have their fingers chopped off at the knuckle.
The most recent trailer mashup craze has been for Inception. Mashups of Inception are popping up with every film on the planet. Most are terrible. I’ve actually been surprised at how good a few of these actually are (especially my #1 choice). It proves how powerful a piece of music can actually be. Play it with anything…and I mean ANYTHING, and you’ll feel the emotion. You’ll want to revisit Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. You’ll feel the pain of Lloyd Christmas. After the jump, enjoy the best of Inception Trailer Mashup goodness. Continue reading “Top 5 Inception Mashups” »
Top 5 Reasons “Alice In Wonderland” is a Travesty
There really can’t be a more disappointing director out there than Tim Burton. The level of pre-excitement vs. actual film is so far off skew, I can’t wrap my mind around it. Sleepy Hollow, Planet of the Apes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – and now Alice in Wonderland, there have just been too many duds in his recent films. You can point to flashes of his old self in Sweeney Todd, but a flash isn’t enough for fans of Tim Burton like myself. Check that. Former fan.
I knew this day was coming. Which is exactly why it took me so long to finally see Alice in Wonderland. I knew this was going to be my Breakup CD. Buying the ticket would be Track 1. Let the depressing songs and harsh reality commence.
Below are the Top 5 Reasons Why Alice in Wonderland was a complete waste of time.
1) Seriously, what was the point?!
50% of the film is devoted to everyone around Alice hinting to her that she’s already been down the rabbit hole. The other 50% is devoted to actress Mia Wasikowska looking dazed and confused. There’s your movie. What really was the point of this? Never was the ending ever in doubt, as it’s told to the audience within the first 25 minutes. *Slight Spoiler* – Her “destiny” on Frabjous Day was to slay the Jabberwocky. There was never a moment in the film that you doubted this could happen. It was more difficult for me to take my 3D glasses out of the plastic than it was for her to chop off its head. There was never any true conflict in the entire film. Too easy to trick the Red Queen. Too easy to get out of her real life proposal. Too easy to meet up with the White Queen. Too easy…too lazy. Amazing art direction; amazingly lazy writing. Was Alice any different at the climax of the film vs. the beginning? Absolutely not. She was a free spirit throughout. The only character that is truly fleshed out is the Mad Hatter. Burton’s Johnny Depp fetish continues and is apparent in his overused screen time for the Hatter.
2) The battle scene
Remember that time in college when you thought it would be fun to take a #2 in the fishbowl, scoop it out, and place it in a crock pot for a slow overnight cook. That’s what the climatic battle scene was — a crock of shit. Nothing happened. Everyone watched Alice run up some stairs and chop off a head. That’s it. CROCK OF SHIT.
3) The 3D hype
You want to see a movie in 3D? Shell out the big bucks. Starting last weekend, price of 3D admission is on the rise. Every Hollywood tentpole film is currently being converted to 3D to keep up with the hype. We are slowly being hustled by that old man in the shades across the poker table. Alice had no reason being 3D. Sure, the Cheshire Cat looked cool. But nothing else made sense. Please know, ALL movies do not need to be seen in 3D. Remember the days of B.A. (Before Avatar)? Before the game changer blew our minds away, we were perfectly fine with regular ole two dimensional screens. IMAX was a special treat. But the local AMC screen would still do the trick. Now the public is demanding everything to be in 3D. This needs to stop. The only reason to see Alice in Wonderland is for the beautiful art design and costumes. That’s it. Nothing that’s worth shelling out $5 more per person. Yes, you can consider yourself saved.
4) Johnny Depp
Unfortunately, we have to compare Johnny Depp to Johnny Depp. As great as he was in his mental patient take on the Mad Hatter, you sort of have the feeling “been there, done that”. I can see Tim Burton’s direction right now “Johnny, don’t over think it. Just throw a bit of Jack Sparrow with a shimmer of Willy Wonka and a touch of Hunter S. Thompson. Add a Scottish accent every once in awhile….perfect. Now bug your eyes out. Yes!” Time for something new, Mr. Depp. You’ve jumped the Tim Burton shark.
5) Danny Elfman score
God, I wish I was Danny Elfman. Create one amazing score and re-purpose it over and over and over again. Throughout this film, we get the Batman, Edward Scissorhands, Spiderman score all mixed up to disguise it as something new. Think I’m wrong? Check all three below and compare it to the Alice score above. Same ole same ole. They are all variations of each other.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3eB1eBw028
Top 5: Films to See Over Your Holiday Break
It’s holiday season. Many things to do, people to see, hands to shake, family to hug. I haven’t had the time to write full reviews but wanted to give my quick take on a few I’ve seen over the past few weeks. 
1. Avatar – Not sure if you’ve heard about this little James Cameron film. But it’s a definite MUST SEE. In 3-D. On IMAX. James Cameron actually delivers on his full year of “game changing” boasts. Yes, the storyline has its slight problems, but the film is the real deal. The performance capture created by Cameron’s team truly is a game changer. In 3-D, you feel as if you are on the planet Pandora. Don’t wait to watch it at home. This film reassures all that is great about actually going to the movies.
2. Up in the Air – George Clooney will get nominated for Best Actor, and possibly win. Jason Reitman will get nominated for Best Director and Screenplay. One of the two actress (Vera Farmiga & Anna Kendrick) will get nominated for Best Actress (but not win). These are not bold statements. I speak the truth. It will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, and make you wonder what the hell is going on with America’s job market. Very relevant film. Very funny, too. Go see it before your Aunt Hilda who knows NOTHING sees it and tells you that it’s the greatest movie and blah blah blah. The buzz and hype will reach a fever pitch as award season starts kicking in, so see it SOON.
3. Fantastic Mr. Fox – I was really reluctant to see this at first. I love Wes Anderson films and all (except The Life Aquatic, that one really went off the rails), but wasn’t really feeling the stop motion animation. After seeing it, I will admit that I’m a fool. Based on a kids book, I’m not even sure how much of a kid’s film it is. Most of the jokes would seem to go over the kids heads. I laughed out loud many times throughout. There is a reason this film has 100% positive reviews amongst top critics on Rotten Tomatoes. Fantastic Mr. Fox is FANTASTIC.
4. Brothers – In general, Tobey Maguire creeps me out. I just don’t really like him. That being said, he may very well get nominated (not win) for an Academy Award in his role in this film. His bugged eyed, sunken in, creepshow performance actually works in this tense film. I recommend this movie with caution, the performances are fantastic and the script really develops the characters well. It’s just trying to do a few too many things at one time, while downplaying some of the obvious elements it needed to explore.
5. The Road – I really enjoyed this book. And the film does a fantastic job of adapting it. It’s just a tough one to recommend. The narrative, story arc, and overall struggle seem to be best fit for a novel. The slow crawl to the end of the world is shot beautifully. Viggo Mortensen is amazing as usual (Yes, he gets naked for about the 80th film in a row. Luckily no naked karate kicks like in Eastern Promises). Here it is in a nutshell. I absolutely loved this movie. But wouldn’t recommend it to everyone. It’s a downer. But a magnificent downer.
To avoid: Did You Hear About the Morgans?, Armored, Old Dogs
Enjoy the holiday break!
Best of the Decade: My Favorite Films of The Oh’s
I’ve shown you what will soon be known as classics, you discovered overlooked movies, and were hiding under the covers from the villains. My final Best of “The Oh’s” list is simply my personal favorite films of the past 10 years. I’m not trying to sell you on any of these. I don’t care if you disagree. There is no debate. This decade saw me thrown into the working world post-college graduation, it witnessed my engagement and wedding. It saw my transition from “Tall, Dark, and good looking” to “Tall, Dark, and handsome.” The decade had many ups and the inevitable downs.
The below list are films that moved me in some way as I grew up as an adult. I saw Requiem for A Dream 3 times in the theater (yes, I’m a glutton for punishment). I watched a special back to back Arclight screening of Kill Bill 1 and Kill Bill 2. I saw Oldboy without knowing anything about it — man, was that shocking. The score for Road to Perdition still moves me when I hear it. You won’t find Lord of the Rings trilogy on this list as I’ll never watch those again. These are all films that only get better each time I see them.
Through movie magic, some helped me find clarity during the bad times. Others simply helped my mind run wild in imagination. They all were thought provoking, inspiring, haunting, and creative pieces of work that I really appreciated.
30. High Fidelity (2000) – A love letter to the audiophiles, this film will make you laugh, cringe, and make you realize you relate to John Cusack’s character maybe a little too much.
29. Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) – There’s a special place in my heart for the imagination of kids (see #13 and #17) and this one is no exception. It sets up an amazingly creepy fantasy world that let’s your imagination run wild.
28. Munich (2005) – Seth Rogan’s character says it best in Knocked Up, “If any of us gets laid tonight, it’s because of Eric Bana in Munich.” Inglorious Basterds was great, but this is the ultimate Jewish revenge flick. This is a great Spielberg film that oddly was forgotten.
27. Road to Perdition (2002) – The rain scene shootout and amazing score put this in my top 30 list. Can’t wait to see this film again.
26. Memento (2000) – On paper, this film is as gimmicky as they come. The whole film is backwards so each plot point is revealed in reverse order. Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight) gives the audience a pitch perfect murder mystery and doesn’t get wrapped up in the gimmicks. Solid cast, perfect script, this is a thriller-noir that everyone must see.
25. Juno (2007) – The buzz around this movie made it unbearable to even hear the name Diablo Cody or Juno. Somehow, this film still holds strong through annoying buzz. Funny, heartfelt, with an all-too-real subject matter.
24. Sideways (2004) - I can never look at a bottle of Merlot the same again. Hilarious movie that deserved all of the accolades and buzz it got. It’s just too bad Thomas Haden Church couldn’t parlay his nominated role into more. His Spiderman 3 was a TRAINWRECK!
23. The Dark Knight in IMAX (2008) – If you haven’t seen this movie, I doubt you’re reading this. Quite simply, this is the best superhero movie made. Period. If you saw it in IMAX, your balls are probably just healing up from the swift kick they took from the kickassity of it all. Yes, I just said that.
22. Away We Go (2009) – Maybe it hit close to home, but I thought this movie was fantastic. Sam Mendes quietly made one of his best films and no one really saw it. It’s a shame. Here is my review from initial screening.
21. Let the Right One In (2008) – I reviewed it HERE. This Swedish Vampire flick is fantastic. “Eli” would kick Robert Pattinson’s ass. But so could I.
20. Finding Nemo (2003) – Many will argue that Pixar’s best films are The Incredibles, Wall-E, or Up. I don’t think any of them compare to Finding Nemo. It’s heartfelt, funny, and swimmingly brilliant.
19. Talk To Her (2002) – One of Almodovar’s best films, this Oscar Winner (Screenplay) and Nominee (Director) will catch you by surprise. All you need to know is the basic plot: Two men share an odd friendship while they care for their girlfriends who are both in deep comas
18. Adaptation (2002) – Charlie Kaufman: Writer; Spike Jonze: Director; Meryl Streep: Actress. What more do you need?
17. Spirited Away (2001) – Beat out Pixar’s Monster’s Inc. for the first ever Best Animated Picture Academy Award. It would beat out any Pixar movie ever released. Place some imagination in a crack pipe, light it, and smoke it. That’s what you’ll get here. Alice in Wonderland meets Charlie and the Chocolate Factory meets a low level street drug. Amazing film.
16. The Royal Tennenbaums (2001) – My favorite of Wes Anderson’s films.
15. Blackhawk Down (2001) – This film disturbs me beyond belief. A true war story which proves that the same mistakes keep being made over and over in the world. We didn’t learn from either of the World Wars. We didn’t learn from Vietnam. Pure madness. A brilliant and haunting film from Ridley Scott.
14. Oldboy (2003) - My spoiler free review is HERE. I wish I never saw this movie…so that I can see it again without knowing anything.
13. Where the Wild Things Are (2009) – This could move up or down the list upon future viewings.
12. Knocked Up (2007) – I was completely surprised at how honest and hilarious this was. And it still holds up with multiple viewings.
11. No Country For Old Men (2007) – Easily one of the best Coen Brothers movies.
10. Children of Men (2006) – Haunting, personal, and way underrated. This is a must watch film.
9. Lost In Translation (2003) – This movie could have easily been in my Top 5. Emptiness and neglect bond two intriguing characters. Sofia Coppola is at her best here, juggling the strange and vibrant world of Japan with the solemn sadness of her characters.
8. Almost Famous (2000) - A deeply personal film for Cameron Crowe showcases what he knows best – music. This movie never gets old.
7. There Will Be Blood (2007) – As I’ve mentioned many times, this is a masterpiece from my favorite modern director. It gets better with each viewing.
6. Into the Wild (2007) – Another underrated film. It will make you want to quit your job, introduce your middle finger to “the man”, and walk the Earth. Sean Penn does a great job in leaving it up to the audience to determine whether Chris McCandless was a spoiled brat or a youth trying to blaze his own trail. I listen to this Eddie Vedder soundtrack all the time. Amazing film.
5. 25th Hour (2002) - One of the first New York based films that includes 9/11 as one of its characters. This is Spike Lee at his best. Not too heavy handed, but hammering his points home. We all make mistakes in life. When should they stop being forgiven?
4. City of God (2002) - An unflinching look at life in the slums of Rio de Janiero. This ain’t Slumdog Millionaire. Kids with guns. Gangs on all corners. I wish I had two more hands so I could give it 4 thumbs up.
3. Requiem for a Dream (2000) – This is easily the best anti-drug film I’ve ever seen. It never tells you “Don’t do drugs” or gives any type of After School special message. It just shows you, this can be your life when drugs rule you. And who knew Marlon Wayans can actually act! The haunting score from Clint Mansell has been used numerous times in other films. Watching the trailer HERE not only makes me sad, it makes me want to see this film again. One of the best…ever.
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) - One of the most simple yet creative scripts I’ve had the opportunity to read. It was carefully directed to keep Charlie Kaufman’s stamp all over it. Jim Carrey at his dramatic best. This gets better each time I see it (which has been alot). This is on my Top 10 films of all time. That’s how much I loved it. Here is a heartbreaking scene.
1. Kill Bill Series (2003/2004) – One of the greatest things about movies is that you can escape to another place, another time, solve a murder, fly through space…you can do anything when the lights are dimmed and the projector starts to rumbling. The Indiana Jones series (except the last one) brought you a sense of adventure in a real world environment with things that could never happen in the real world. Kill Bill 1 & 2 does the same thing. True, you can’t take your samurai sword on a flight to Japan. But in Quentin Tarantino’s universe, you sure as hell can. True, one person, no matter how much of a badass they are, can’t take out an entire team of 88 ninjas. But you can in QT’s universe. The Kill Bill movies are everything that film should be about. Imagination. Fun. Unforeseen twists. Head’s rollling. If you didn’t enjoy this movie, you probably missed the point.
Best of the Decade: Top 5 Movie Villains of The Oh’s
5. Alonzo Harris
What movie was he in? Training Day (2001)
What is his weapon of choice? LAPD Badge
The proof is in the scene: HERE
Why you don’t want to invite him over for Christmas dinner: You haven’t seen your nephew Billy for quite awhile and are thrilled that “Little Billy” and family will be at the house for Christmas. For some reason, Little Billy is really into playing with classic monster toys – Creature from the Black Lagoon, Dracula, King Kong… No idea what got him on this kick, but he has figurines of all of them. He’s a weird kid. Everyone is relaxing after dinner and Little Billy is playing “monsters” with Cousin Alonzo. Suddenly, Cousin Alonzo starts brewing. He sits on the couch, stands up, paces down the hallway. Something is obviously wrong with him. He is sweating profusely, patting his jacket pocket for the empty pack of cigarettes. You lift yourself from the food coma to handle the odd situation. But Alonzo’s not having it. He glares at Little Billy. Upper lip quivering, he gives a slow upward nod to him.
“What’s the problem, Zo?”
He looks right through you. A bead of sweat drops from his ear with a splash to the wood flooring.
Behind you, Little Billy smashes the King Kong toy against the plastic Dracula. SMASH! SMASH! Dracula’s head falls off.
Alonzo has seen enough. He violently shoves you aside and stands over sweet Little Billy.
“You think you can do this to me?! I play with you and this is how you treat me? Don’t f#%k with me, Billy.”
Billy triumphantly tosses headless Dracula to the side, embracing his King Kong toy.
“King Kong ain’t got shit on me!” Alonzo proclaims.
4. O-Ren Ishii
What movie was she in? Kill Bill Vol.1 (2003)
What is her weapon of choice? Samurai Sword
The proof is in the scene: HERE
Why you don’t want to invite her over for Christmas dinner: You’re super nervous. It’s the first time your family is going to meet your new girlfriend, O-Ren. You had no choice but to invite her, her entire family is back in Japan. Cautiously optimistic, you have the feeling the dinner will go off without a hitch.
You enter the house in your Banana Republic sweater vest; O-Ren wears a Christmas themed kimono filled with candy canes, Santa heads, and mistletoe. The grand entrance is met with warm smiles, loving hugs, and genuine approval. Except for Grandpa Ben. You know, racist WWII vet Grandpa Ben. Crap, forgot he was going to be here.
Over dinner, your Grandpa is very dismissive of your new girlfriend. He often has his war flashbacks and tonight is no exception. He acts like she’s an intruder and refuses to politely laugh at her jokes with the rest of the family, must to the ire of O-Ren.
“Your grandfather obviously has something on his mind,” O-Ren declares “By all means, let him express it.”
Grandpa Ben steams. Suddenly he smashes his eggnog against the table.
“I’m not sure why you are all laughing and celebrating with this perversion in the room.”
“What perversion do you speak of?” your girlfriend snaps back.
Grandpa Ben stares straight ahead at the 12 Days of Christmas painting.
“My father” he begins “…and his father, and EVERYONE in my family tree has always had a real Christmas tree. I look over in that room and see a fake Target tree. This is a PERVERSION of Christmas!”
The room starts heating up as you quickly fan yourself with a Santa napkin. Your parents are stunned at this sudden attack on their tree from a box. O-Ren is not having it. She jumps on the table and with the pitter patter of her size 2 feet sprints towards Grandpa Ben.
It’s safe to say the debate of the Christmas tree came to a head.
3. The Joker
What movie was he in? The Dark Knight (2008)
What is his weapon of choice? Pencil
The proof is in the scene: HERE
Why you don’t want to invite him over for Christmas dinner: Unless you want to be the laughingstock of the family, it’s better not to invite the cracked out, stringy hair, laughing hyena, caked on Halloween makeup, purple suited college roommate to the holiday festivities.
2. Anton Chigurh
What movie was he in? No Country For Old Men (2007)
What is his weapon of choice? Cattle Gun
The proof is in the scene: HERE
Why you don’t want to invite him over for Christmas dinner: Ring ring. Ring ring! You’re walking out of the grocery store when you hear the dreaded holiday bell. You know what bell I’m talking about. The Salvation Army bell.
Ring ring. Ring ring!
It’s the end of the year and you can’t honestly think of one charitable thing you’ve done all year. That’s when a light bulb pops above your head.
“I have something better than throwing a few coins in your bucket,” you yell to the Salvation Army man with the precise bowl cut.
“How about you have a warm meal at my place for Christmas and get out of this chilly weather.”
*Freeze: This spontaneous remark represents all that is wrong with you. Yes, it would be an amazing gesture to invite the man to dinner. But no, Salvation Army ring shakers are not the homeless.
The man nods to your careless gesture. The ring of the bell penetrates your eardrums as he drops the bell to pick up his cattle gun. This is the end of you.
1. Patrick Bateman
What movie was he in? American Psycho (2000)
What is his weapon of choice? Chainsaw and sometimes an axe
The proof is in the scene: HERE (Watch all 5 minutes to see Christian Bale at his absolute best)
Why you don’t want to invite them over for Christmas dinner: You feel bad for your co-worker who you now consider a good friend. He has no family. And it’s Christmastime. Over happy hour drinks, you think about inviting him over for Christmas dinner. But first he starts ranting about music, specifically Huey Lewis and the News. And then Phil Collins. Why do you care? What’s wrong with this guy? And then he lays this one on you–
“I have all the characteristics of a human being — blood, flesh, skin, hair — but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me, and I don’t know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.”
Good times.