The Muppets: “The Rainbow Connection”
Lately, I’ve been hearing a ton of cynicism surrounding the Muppets movie releasing this weekend. Adults think they are too “adult” to watch a Muppet movie. And frankly, that’s just sad. Where in your life did that burning flame of pure imagination, happiness, and profane creativity die a horrible death? The Muppets aren’t targeted to kids. And they are not targeted to adults. Quite simply, The Muppets represent happiness, hope, and the celebration of life. The Muppets are for EVERYONE.
The Muppets are known for great songs in their films. Most notably (and easily the best), is “The Rainbow Connection” from 1979′s The Muppet Movie. The song was nominated for an Academy Award, but lost to this pile of feces.
The Rainbow Connection is a combination of absolute sweetness with the undertones of sadness and a philosophy of life. It’s deep and insane that it exists within a Muppets movie.
I ran track from age 5 all the way through high school. During big track meets, I would get insanely nervous. I felt as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. As the lead up to the big race would tick forward, I would need to find a way to calm down. This song always did the trick. Shut out the world and listen to the sad banjo of Kermit the Frog. If you’ve never heard this song or if you’ve never truly LISTENED to this song, I beg you to give it a chance.
Before getting into the song (bottom of the post), here’s a few quick thoughts on some key lyrics.
“Someday we’ll find it, the Rainbow Connection”
Essentially, the “rainbow connection” is the path between us and our dreams. We grow up with so many hopes and dreams of the future, but life (and adulthood) gets in the way. Somewhere along the path, we lose our focus on that connection which makes our dreams come true. Kermit is implying that it’s something you are searching for (your calling in life) or something that was lost (your dreams). What is your purpose? Yes, Kermit is deep.
“What’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing?
What do we think we might see?”
We keep searching for the meaning of it all — but can’t seem to grasp it yet.
“Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I’ve heard them calling my name.”
Kermit is telling you to listen to that internal voice. Deep inside, you know the path that should be taken. Slow down. Listen to your inner voice. He goes on to say…
“I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it.
It’s something that I’m supposed to be.”
This furthers his point. Listen to your internal voice. With the lightening fast journey that life takes you through, it’s too easy to lose focus on yourself. Slow down. And focus. If Kermit wasn’t such a sweet frog, he should be pissed at Oprah. Her entire empire is built off the philosophy of The Rainbow Connection. Kermit may have a lawsuit on his hands.
This is the greatest song ever created for a movie. Period.
Now go see The Muppets this weekend! I don’t care if you don’t have kids. You are never too old to enjoy a Muppet movie.
R.I.P. Adam Sandler
In my Top 10 Movies Most Re-Watched, Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore both make the list. I’ve laughed out loud more times than I can remember during both flicks. “Stop looking at me, Swan!” “You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?!” We can quote these classic comedies all day. Adam Sandler was destined for greatness as he could do no wrong in the world of comedy. But something went terrible wrong along the way. I’m not sure if the success got to his head and the riches made him unfunny. Not sure if he just got lazy. But damn, Adam Sandler went from must watch comedy to straight embarrassment. And somehow, he’s laughing all the way to the bank. Horrible movies such as Grown Ups, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan, I Know Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Click, and more all made decent scratch at the box office. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game never rang more true.
After the jump, I have a little game for you. I have three clips/trailers. Two are fake Adam Sandler videos — they are spoofs from the movie Funny People. One is a real movie releasing this year. Figure out which one is real. Good luck, my friends. Adam Sandler hasn’t been funny for many, many years — I get it. But his new film, well, it’s embarrassing like that drunken uncle that hits on your girlfriend during Thanksgiving dinner.
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Broments in Film
Two critically praised films are coming out this weekend — the apocalyptic “watch who is sneezing near you” Contagion and the bromantic Warrior. Both have certified fresh Rotten Tomatoes ratings of more than 80%. From what I’m hearing, neither are to missed. Contagion will make you think twice about touching anything in public and Warrior will tear your heart out. Warrior gets priority as I really don’t need to feel more paranoid than I already am (there’s a reason I hate carrying change and dollar bills — Check out THIS article).
In celebration of Warrior, I bring you a great little YouTube gem titled “Broments in Love.” Here you’ll see all the loving moments between seemingly straight men in film. Rocky and Apollo Creed always sweaty and always gazing into each others eyes. And everyone knows about Top Gun — 2 hours of Bromance.
Two Big Time Trailers That Will Make You Hate Movies
The terrorists have won. Below are two movies that Hollywood is backing in a big way. New Years Eve (Release Date: December 9th, 2011 – naturally) stars everyone and their grandmother. In the vein of the horrendous Valentine’s Day, it stars a ton of great good OK actors looking to make an easy buck off a big studio film. Most notably – Mr. Bob DeNiro. He even gets a great closing line in this nauseating trailer. If you can’t predict every storyline here, you should consider getting yourself checked…FOR MENTAL RETARDATION. This trailer makes me want to kick a small puppy.
New Years Eve
Battleship
Nevermind that it’s based off a bland board game. Nevermind that it’s another example of Liam Neeson selling out to the core. Nevermind that it’s another alien invasion film. Hint – We’ve been invaded. Get over it. Skyline, I Am Number Four, Battle: LA, Transformers 3D, Paul, Super 8, Cowboys & Aliens
The trailer after the jump is not funny. Not exciting. Not good. Not awe-inspiring. Not interesting. But it’s a movie based on the board game battleship. And it involves aliens. And that guy from True Blood. And Rihanna. Blah.
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The Greatest Movie Threats of All Time
I’m having one of those days weeks. This video could not have come at a better time. Do you ever work with, attend class with, or just know someone that you’d like to smack across the face — just because? Do you ever wish you had the verbal bravado to vocally assassinate another human being? Then this video is for you.
Some of my favorites can be seen at:
1:33 & 3:54 (Full Metal Jacket)
3:09 (Kill Bill Vol.1)
3:30 & 9:20 (Pulp Fiction)
3:47 (The Running Man)
7:09 (Anchorman)
10:35 (There Will Be Blood)
11:21 (Hard to Kill)
Thanks to Harry Hanrahan, who created this video. He’s also responsible for the classic “Nic Cage Losing His Shit” video. Check out the video, take some notes, and unleash the words on the next person who looks at your the wrong way. Enjoy.
“Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” Boycott
For my entire childhood, I was obsessed with Pirates. I had the giant Playmobil Pirate ship , pirate toys all over the room, a fake Captain Hook hand, Pirate flags, and I’m a Raiders fan. Being that my favorite ride at Disneyland was Pirates of the Caribbean, you should have seen my excitement at the thought of an epic movie adaptation. Shockingly, the film held up to expectations. Everyone loved it. Johnny Depp was nominated for an Academy Award for his role of Jack Sparrow. The entire world rejoiced.
Good times and “Yo Ho Ho’s” hit a sudden brake. The sequel came out. And then the “final” part 3, At World’s End. Both were ridiculously bad. Filled to the brim with nonsensical action pieces and time length (each one was over 2.5 hours), I was officially burned out on this franchise.
Today, is the release of Part 4 (in 3D). It currently has a 35% on Rotten Tomatoes and has been eloquently described by Peter Travers of Rolling Stone as “a giant turd.” Disney will continue running this great brand into the ground until people stop buying tickets. I’m going to do my part and boycott this franchise from here on out. If you see me somewhere, don’t ask how it was. I’m not watching it. If you email me, don’t even mention the name. Jack Sparrow is officially banned. I’m going to hold on to those great memories of imaging sailing the high seas in search of buried treasure. I’m not going to let a giant turd to erase those memories forever.
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Blockbuster University Training Videos
Sucker you into only watching Top Releases and hustle you into late payment fees. That’s what Blockbuster video is/was all about. Luckily, the misguided franchise is dying a slow death. I’ve harped on Blockbuster quite a few times here, but this one is too good.
After the jump, I have a special Blockbuster gem for you. It’s an unearthed “Blockbuster University” video, training employees how to upsell, manipulate, and start the companies path towards destruction. “Listen.Think.Act” is the motto. How ironic. They did none of the above…especially the “thinking” part. There’s some early nineties cringe inducing outfits here, which make the video all the better. They are lengthy by YouTube standards (9 minutes each). But check them out on your lunch break — or in spurts. If you knew this was the Blockbuster Bible for all employees back in the day, would you have continued renting videos here?
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Saviordamus is Back – 2011 Academy Awards Predictions
UPDATE:
Wow. What a boring telecast. It’s probably the least satisfying Academy Awards ceremony I’ve ever seen. If it weren’t for Melissa Leo and her crazy, there would be nothing to talk about here. All 4 songs were nauseating. The speeches were boring. Ugh. At least Inception and The Fighter got well deserved love. Two years from now you’ll look back and wonder “How did that movie The King’s Speech win best picture?” Or even more telling, “King’s Speech? I don’t remember that one.”
16 out of 24. I hope that helped you win the millions you deserve. I should’ve been smart and stayed with my Melissa Leo pick and stuck with my gut in choosing Inception for cinematography. It tis what it tis.
Stay classy, friends.
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Withdraw your life savings. Sell your house. Borrow from all of your friends. Film Savior is about to make you some money!
Saviordamus has come down from the heavens to grant you Oscar picks for your office pool. Bet big, you won’t regret it.
Best Picture
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King’s Speech – WILL WIN (WINNER)
127 Hours,
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter’s Bone
My personal favorite 5 nominees (in order): 1) Black Swan, 2) Inception, 3) The Fighter, 4) The Social Network, 5) Toy Story 3. Unfortunately, none of these will win Best Picture. The tide sadly has swayed towards The King’s Speech. This will be similar to the year Shakespeare in Love shocked Saving Private Ryan. A forgettable film beating out a potential classic. The King’s Speech was good, but no one will be talking about it next year. No one will even remember it. Oh well.
Actor in a Leading Role
Javier Bardem in Biutiful
Jeff Bridges in True Grit
Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network
Colin Firth in The King’s Speech – WILL WIN (WINNER)
James Franco in 127 Hours
Colin Firth was great in this above average film. He definitely SHOULD win and WILL win this. Take it to the bank.
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Because He’s James Franco
James Franco. 2011 Best Actor Nominee. 2011 Oscars Host. General Hospital guest star.
James Franco does whatever he wants and he’s not too concerned what you think about it. Shouldn’t all of us take a page of Franco and live our lives this way? He returns to General Hospital this Friday, just two days from the big show. Franco does as Franco wants. Because he’s James Franco.
I’m guessing he refers to himself in third person…because he’s James Franco.
I’ll bet he drives in America with steering wheel on the right…because he’s James Franco.
When the check arrives on a date, his signature can be considered a payment — and tip…because he’s James Franco.
This weekend is going to be all Franco, all the time. After the jump, check out an acting lesson from James Franco along with a General Hospital James Franco tribute video. You’re welcome.
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Remember “Big”?
Living and working in Los Angeles, you always stumble upon a hidden spot that you swear you’ve seen before. 9 times out of 10, you haven’t — you just saw that exact spot in a movie. It’s always kind of fun to check out movie locations of beloved classic movies. I think it all started when I was randomly camping at the same place they were filming Point Break. My 11 year-old self walked right up to one of the crew and asked what they were filming. “Riders on the Storm” said the burly man with cigarette in hand. They couldn’t get the rights to the name, so it was changed to Point Break. Little did I know (or did they), I would be quoting lines from that movie 20 years later.
Sometimes, you’ll find a spot that a classic moment in film was captured, but it does nothing but depress you.
Do you remember the classic Tom Hanks movie, Big (you better)? One of the most memorable scenes is when he goes to the Zoltar machine and makes his wish to be “big.” Well, Scouting New York visited that spot and took a picture. Sigh. It’s no longer a fortune teller. Check out the picture after the jump.
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The Visual Effects of Black Swan
Ever since I was really young, I’ve been intrigued by the behind the scenes videos of movies I loved — especially when they showcased the visual effects. I specifically remember watching Indiana Jones and Star Wars featurettes and being blown away at everything that wasn’t actually real. It was like watching a large scale magic trick.
I’ve raved about Black Swan to anyone within earshot. It’s a brilliant film. What really stood out was the subtle use of ambient sound and visual effects. After the jump, you’ll find a 4 minute video that shows how they created some of the dynamic visual effects scenes throughout the film. Although Natalie Portman performed most of her ballet work, you’ll learn that she also had her face superimposed on a real dancer in some scenes. The amount of thought, creativity, and work in the most simplistic seeming scenes will give you a greater appreciation of this Best Picture nominee. I had no idea this film was this filled with CGI. Whether it be removing crew from the mirrors (something I’ve always tried to figure out when the camera directly faces a mirror) or simply shining up a floor, this video will surprise you. It’s the subtle magic trick that is the most rewarding.
*There are many spoilers in the video. If you don’t want the film to be ruined - minimize the screen, run out to the movie theater, and come back to watch this.
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The Doldrums of January Releases
Avoid them like the plague. When films are released in January, it generally means the studio had ZERO confidence in it. You can easily say “He has no idea what he’s talking about.” And that’s fine. But I challenge you to find redeeming value in any of the following January releases:
The Dilemma (Rotten Tomatoes – 21%) , The Green Hornet (Rotten Tomatoes – an almost respectable 46%) , No Strings Attached (don’t fall for the Natalie Portman casting, although it’s getting a respectable rom-com 46% Rotten Tomatoes rating), The Rite, The Mechanic.
Take this time to catch up on some recent Netflix movies (Cyrus, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Animal Kingdom). Or watch some of the potential Oscar contenders (The Fighter, Black Swan, Blue Valentine, The King’s Speech, True Grit). Play some of the board games that will be in theaters in the near future – Battleship, Ouija, Candyland, or Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. Or better yet, play with your kid that you’ve been neglecting all year. Re-introduce yourself to your wife, husband, girlfriend/boyfriend. Say hello to your dog. Step outside and breathe the fresh air.
Just don’t waste your time or money on what’s sure to be horrible films this month.
Consider yourself saved.