Dark Knight Rises Prologue Attached to Mission Impossible
Does July 20th, 2012 seem too far away to see The Dark Knight Rises? What if I told you that you can watch the first 6 minutes…in IMAX…in December? Still don’t care? Fair enough, but I’m excited.
It was just announced that the first 6 minutes of the highly anticipated Dark Knight Rises will be attached to Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol on December 16th in IMAX only. So far, my interest in Mission: Impossible has been minimal. The only thing that has me intrigued is to see director Brad Bird’s (The Incredibles, The Iron Giant) first live action effort. The addition of Jeremy Renner isn’t a bad thing, either. But now I’m sure that I’ll be there opening week. I’m the same guy that attended Avatar Day (16 minutes of footage). Don’t think that only 6 minutes of Dark Knight Rises will keep me away.
See ya soon, Tom. But what’s up with this horrible poster? What disease does your character have? Yikes.
Because I Hate You: The Hunger Games Motion Poster
I’m completely annoyed by this movie already. Already billed as the next Twilight/Harry Potter, The Hunger Games is not so quietly positioning itself as the next billion dollar poorly made movie. I’m not a teenage girl, but I read the book to see what the hype was about. While the premise is solid, the book is a predictable, poorly written mess.
A young girl joins a survival contest in order to save her community in a dystopian future. (Hint – The contest is to kill every other kid on the playing field – by any means necessary. Think The Running Man and Battle Royale.)
Very soon, this movie is going to be shoved down your throat. You might not know anything about it right now. You may have heard rumblings. But trust me, when October/November rolls around — you are going to know nothing BUT The Hunger Games.
As a first piece of marketing, the studios that be have rolled out the first motion poster I’ve ever seen. I guess you’ll have to see it to full understand. Check it out after the jump. Gimmicky, eh?
The Hunger Games
Release Date: March 23rd, 2012
Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Stanley Tucci, Lenny Kravitz, Donald Sutherland
Continue reading “Because I Hate You: The Hunger Games Motion Poster” »
“Things Fall Apart” – The Worst Trailer…EVER
Things definitely have fallen apart.
A few months ago, you may have seen the pictures of 50 Cent and his shocking weight loss for a movie role as a cancer stricken athlete.
The man was virtually unrecognizable. It was later learned that he lost over 60 pounds for his upcoming film, Things Fall Apart. Was 50 Cent going for Oscar Gold? Christian Bale just won an Oscar in a role where he lost a ton of weight…why not Fitty? I was intrigued right away by this guaranteed brilliant performance in an Oscar worthy film coming our way.
After the jump, you’ll find the first trailer for Things Fall Apart. I’ve cut trailers on iMovie. I’ve made movies of my baby boy with music and themes perfectly aligned. What you’ll find here is the worst trailer I’ve ever seen. I’m not joking. This must be seen to be believed. The music doesn’t match. The sound quality is horrible. The acting is laughable. It’s labeled as the “unofficial trailer”, but 50 Cent posted it on his website. 
From the nauseating voiceover “Deion Barnes had it all…until life got in the way” to the embarrassing dreadlock wig — you’ll think this is a really bad Saturday Night Live spoof. This is real. Oh man. This is real.
“I thought he was sick, what’s he celebrating?” inappropriately asks the girl with the pink hair.
He’s celebrating life…his career is dead after this film gets released.
Oh yeah, Ray Liotta is in it.
Things have fallen apart for everyone involved here.
Continue reading ““Things Fall Apart” – The Worst Trailer…EVER” »
Jungle Cruisin’ to Nowhere
Quick – Outside of the Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean ride, think of the first Disneyland ride that would make sense for another movie. What did you come up with? Space Mountain? Thunder Mountain? Autopia? I’ll bet the Jungle Cruise didn’t even cross your mind.
Tom Hanks and Tim Allen will be starring in a live action-adventure film based off one of the slowest, most boring rides in the happiest place on Earth. The Toy Story alum will hopefully add some spice to a ride that features animatronic elephants, hippos, and other animals you can see in their real flesh and blood — at the zoo, an African safari, or Animal Planet.
There are zero details on what the plot will be, but the sky’s the limit. My guess – a booze filled river boat captain (Hanks) reluctantly allows a stranger (Allen) in peril to board his boat. The two are instant foes and can’t stand the sight of each other. After near death experiences with jungle people (I’m guessing PC jungle people, unlike the ride), crocodiles, and killer hippos, the two enemies learn that friendship is bonded by shared experience. The ending will be ambiguous enough for a sequel and more.
This is the state of Hollywood film. Instead of creating an original action-adventure film set on a riverboat through the treacherous jungle, they have to attach a ride for the brand recognition. There is zero trust in the public embracing a “new” idea. A quick note to studio execs who are in no way reading this: The #17 most beloved movie on AFI’s Top 100 American Movies list was called The African Queen. It was almost entirely set on a riverboat down a treacherous river. Have some faith in your audience.
I’m going to have to leave the resident Disneyland expert, my mother-in-law, in charge of deciphering why this movie is a good idea.
83rd Academy Award Nominations
The nominations for the 83rd Academy Awards were announced with a few mild surprises/snubs. Waiting for Superman got stuck in a phone booth and failed to receive a best documentary nomination. Andrew Garfield didn’t get a supporting nomination for The Social Network (I’m happy about it, he didn’t deserve it over any of the nominees) On the bright side, one of my favorites of the year – Exit Through the Gift Shop WAS nominated. Christopher Nolan got the biggest snub in my opinion. How can the person who directed Inception (nominated for Best Picture) NOT get nominated for Best Director?! Crikey! It was great to see 14-year-old Hailee Steinfeld (Ventura County represent!) get a nomination for True Grit and John (Eastbound and Down) Hawkes get a nod for Winter’s Bore Bone.
Oscar bait, The King’s Speech, leads the pack with 12 nominations. Ho-hum.
Check out the nominations and a few thoughts after the jump.
Continue reading “83rd Academy Award Nominations” »
RZA’s “The Man With the Iron Fist”
For those who know me, you probably know I loves me some Wu-Tang Clan. The hip-hop super group had a superior run in the mid-to late nineties that firmly put them on the map. Yours truly had the privilege of seeing them at the Irvine Amphitheater and at the Keenan Ivory Wayans Show taping. Yes, I witnessed that tragic talk show live (twice). Unfortunately for the Wu, it ended up being too many superstars for one group, with each breaking off and doing their own projects. The de facto leader of Wu-Tang was the RZA who has slowly been making a name for himself in Hollywood. He composed music in the incomparable Kill Bill Vol.1. He showed up as an actor in films such as American Gangster, Funny People, and Due Date. He also wrote the book, “The Tao of Wu.” Check this out this classic interview of the RZA discussing the book…performing some kung fu…and bringing in his fighting monk friend. Comedy on so many levels.
Continue reading “RZA’s “The Man With the Iron Fist”” »
Reason #1,241 The Green Lantern Will Fail
This will be the year of the Comic Book film. I know it seems like every year is, but trust me — every drop of comic book ink is going to be jammed down your throat in ’11. One of the most hyped films is slapped right in the middle of Summer 2011, The Green Lantern. My prediciton: This is going to be a huge disaster for the studio. Everyone is gunning for the same fanboy audience…something has to fail. The trailer released a few weeks ago was underwhelming. Now they have released the first photo of the character, Tomar-Re. He looks like a cross between Jar-Jar Binks, a sea creature, and a giant talking turd.
The Daily Blam (who discovered this), explains the character in detail: Growing up on the planet Xudar, Tomar-Re comes from a peaceful avian race that focuses their efforts on the arts and sciences instead of war. His nature to examine everything has led the Guardians of the Universe to appoint him the archivist and protector of the sacred Book of Oa. When not studying the nature of the Corps, Tomar-Re patrols the sector of 2813 where he developed a close friendship with neighboring sector 2814′s Green Lantern, Abin Sur. Tomar has taken an interest in Abin’s replacement, Hal Jordan. Though Hal is not one for details, Tomar hopes to teach Hal what it means to be a Green Lantern.
Are you still here? The more I read the worst this movie sounds. It’s difficult reading that description without banging my head against my keyboard. The Green Lantern is going to be a resounding dud.
2011 Golden Globe Nominations
The 2011 Golden Globe Nominations were announced this morning, which you can take with a grain of salt. The Hollywood Foreign Press (the people voting and nominating) LOVE to see big celebrities show up to their event. That’s why you’ll see Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie nominated for the poorly reviewed The Tourist. That’s why you’ll see the horrendous Alice in Wonderland nominated for Comedy. What a joke.
The only takeaway from these awards is a glimpse into what might happen at the Academy Awards (the only awards show I almost care about). As expected, Black Swan, The Social Network, The King’s Speech, The Fighter, and Inception were all nominated for Best Picture (Drama). True Grit was shut out (rumbles of Best Picture contender have been heard). The Fighter looks to have a fighting chance for Oscar. The Social Network is starting to gain more likes. Black Swan could dance its way into the hearts of voters. The Kings Speech might be heard by all. And Inception’s chances are all a dream.
Check out the full list of nominees after the jump.
Continue reading “2011 Golden Globe Nominations” »
More Inception Fun – Secrets Revealed
You know that music you’ve come to know and love. BAHHMM. BAAAHM. BAAAAAAHM. It’s the sound of action happening in Inception. Pulsating bass through the seats. Someone that obviously just got over their bout of nerdgasm put together a video that shows that the main musical cue in Hans Zimmer’s score is actually a slowed-down version of Edith Piaf’s “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien.” What is Edith Piaf’s score? It’s the music they play on the headphones to wake the main characters up within the movie.
What does this mean? My brain just melted. But maybe it further layers the “dream within a dream.” As time slows down — so would the music. Right?
BAHHM. BAAAHMM BAHHMM phrrrt.
Oh yeah, have you ever heard of or seen the movie La Vie en Rose? You may have noticed Marion Cotillard won the Best Actress Academy Award for her portrayal of…wait for it…EDITH PIAF.
The below was confirmed by the man himself, Hans Zimmer.
Nerdgasms
As you probably already know, this past weekend was Comic-Con 2010 aka The Million Nerd March. As readers of this site, I’m assuming you are a bunch of Fonzies, so we can talk freely about the Nerdgasms that were had. Every cast member from The Avengers were announced. Yay! Thor and Captain America footage was shown. Yippee! And everyone got an exciting first look at Cowboys and Aliens. Dirka Dirka! The nerds were beyond themselves over minutes of footage. Whoopie! Luckily, none of us were swayed as we are too cool for school.
Instead of boring you with a ton of new footage that rolled out from Comic-Con, let’s just get it all out of the way in one swoop. And let’s do it quickly. Below are the three announcements/peeks that actually have me intrigued. Subtle nerdgasms below.
Sucker Punch
Directed by: Zack Snyder (Watchmen, 300)
Starring: Emily Browning, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Abbie Cornish, Carla Gugino, and Jon “Sergio” Hamm.
Synopsis: Sucker Punch is a movie about little girl who is trying to hide from the pain caused by her evil stepfather and lobotomy. She ends up in mental institution and while there she starts to imagine alternative reality. She plans to escape from that imaginary world but to do that she needs to steal five objects before she is caught by a vile man. Story is set in 1950’s.
Why it might be kinda amazing: Say what you will about 300 or Watchmen. They were both beautifully shot, totally ridiculous, and intriguing at once. Sucker Punch has been described as “Alice in Wonderland with machine guns.” Take that description and watch the trailer below. See if you can withstand the powers of Snyder. It looks like a ton of fun.
Drive Angry
Directed by: Patrick Lussier
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fichtner, Katy Mixon, and David Morse
Synopsis: A vengeful father chases after the men who killed his daughter
Why it might be kinda amazing: It’s called Drive Angry. And crazy Nic Cage is in it. The only thing that would make this better is an appearance of Mel Gibson taking a leisurely drive through South Central. Now THAT would be some angry driving.
Battle: Los Angeles
Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman
Starring: Michelle Rodriguez, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Pena
Synopsis: A Marine platoon faces off against an alien invasion in Los Angeles (Get it? Battle: Los Angeles)
Why it might be kinda amazing: Described as Black Hawk Down meets Alien. And because 4 seconds of footage (below) has me hot and bothered.
Red Band Trailer: Machete
On Cinco De Mayo, we showed you the sneak peek of the Machete trailer from Robert Rodriguez. Now comes the most violent, ridiculous, and intestine grabbing trailer you’ll probably ever see.
After watching the trailer, check out the equally amazing character posters after the jump. Don Johnson + Robert De Niro + Steven Seagal = My money towards opening weekend box office. I’m not ashamed. This trailer will slap your girlfriend and make love to all 6 of your sisters.
Is this going to be good? Doubtful. Will this be so over the top that it must be seen to be believed? Of course. And the most important question: Did he really just pull the intestines out of a man to swing himself out the window and crash through another one? Really? It’s fairly obvious that this trailer is NSFW and not for the feint of heart. For everyone else….enjoy (and you’re welcome).
Continue reading “Red Band Trailer: Machete” »
Comic-Con Reveals: Captain America and Thor
I’ve got to be honest. I don’t have much interest in the next two films from the Marvel universe: Thor and Captain America. Iron Man was great mainly because of how fantastic Robert Downey, Jr. was in both films. Am I really supposed to care about the no-name guy playing the Hammer wielding “Thor” or Chris Evans playing “Captain America”? Seems like a waste of time to me. Just hurry up and get to The Avengers movie.
That being said, Comic-Con 2010 is upon us which means big reveals. After the jump you’ll see really great concept art for two films I have minimal interest in seeing. If the live action can live up to this artwork, I’ll be there opening weekend. It looks that cool. For now, I’m refusing to buy into the hype.
If anyone from Marvel is reading, I’ve got the perfect hero song for each character.
Captain America’s Theme Song: HERE
Thor’s Theme Song: HERE
Continue reading “Comic-Con Reveals: Captain America and Thor” »