An Urgent Post re: Oscar Predictions
So the strangest thing happened…
A few hours ago, I returned from an extensive international trip. First, I was in Haiti helping out victims in the aftermath of the horrible earthquake. I then worked with Wyclef Jean and George Clooney in prepping for the powerful telethon. Upon hearing about the devastation in Chile, I immediately hopped on the first plane out and volunteered myself to the cause. Yesterday, I felt that things were in control — so I decided to fly home. When I arrived at my house, I noticed the door was unlocked. Strange. Not like me at all to leave anything unlocked. After a thorough look around my place, I was comforted by the fact that nothing was stolen.
Sitting in front of my iMac, I noticed something immediately. The computer was not powered down as I had left it. And the words “Saviordamus Was Here” was hastily scribbled on a post-it attached to the screen. Pulling the curious message off the monitor, I tapped the keyboard to take it out of sleep mode.
That’s when I saw what you probably assumed was from me. I gasped at each sloppily written sentence. And the predictions…oh the predictions. It’s quite obvious — someone claiming to be “The Great Saviordamus” hacked into my computer with the sinister plot to take down the thin thread of Film Savior website credibility. Anyone with their ear to the Oscar season knew that Quentin Tarantino was going to lose. If these were MY picks, you should know I’d never pick a writer like Tarantino. Although this hack picked 6/8 of the Big 8 categories correct, this clown only predicted 62% correct! And the guy was such an obnoxious a-hole to top it off.
“I’m like the Lakers challenging the Special Olympics Under 12 Basketball team to a game. Outcome – inevitable.” – Not only does this line offend me, but it should offend all people with a heart. This is terrible.
My apologies to any readers that lost in their Oscar Pool by following this imposter. This clown. This “Great Saviordamus.” I’ve now taken great measures to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I will take every measure possible to find out who this fraud is. When it happens, I’ll make sure to utilize the weapons I learned from Dolemite.
