Top 5 “Great” Movies I Can’t Get Myself to Watch
5) The Pianist (Winner of 3 Academy Awards: Actor, Director, Screenplay)
Every time I tell someone that I’ve never seen Roman Polanski’s The Pianist, I get the same reaction. A look of shock that transformers into disappointment. I’m well aware that Adrian Brody won best actor, Polanski won best director, and also won for best screenplay. But damn. I usually am not in a hurry to watch any films that revolve around American Slavery or the Holocaust. I’ll eventually get to them (I FINALLY just watched Hotel Rwanda…good times), but something about the title + subject matter just has held me back. That being said, I just saw The Road. Dark, depressing, and sad but at least it wasn’t the Jewish Holocaust.
4) Ben Hur #72 AFI Top 100 American Movies
I honestly can’t tell you why I haven’t seen this movie or why I can’t get myself to watch it. I know it’s supposed to be epic. It won 11 Academy Awards. As a connoisseur of all things film, I feel like an ass for 1) Never seeing this film and 2) Having no interest whenever I have the opportunity. It just seems like potential Chinese water torture to me.
3) Amadeus #53 AFI Top 100 American Movies
I love the music. I’m interested in the man. But the film…BLAH. I just don’t have any interest in sitting through this. It got nominated for 11 Academy Awards in 1985. Guess what? I don’t care. More importantly, how was THIS SONG a huge hit?!
2) Letters of Iwo Jima/Flags of Our Fathers
Clint Eastwood has been at the top of his game since he hit the ripe old age of 107. For some reason, I cannot get myself to put either of these films at the top of my Netflix Queue (*If you want to be my Netflix “Friend”, contact me! I only have good films to recommend…promise). Anyone out there…are either of these actually worth watching?
1) Singin In the Rain #10 AFI Top 100 American Movies
The musical is my least favorite film genre. Unless you are on a Broadway stage, breaking into song mid sentence is cringe inducing to me. That being said, I really enjoyed Moulin Rouge, Chicago, and looking forward to the upcoming Nine. The above picture is one of the reasons I despise the thought of watching this movie. It’s just terrible. People sing in showers, not the rain. Nothing can be so great and jolly that you’re enticed to twirl around street lights and belt out a cheesy song at the top of your lungs. It was #10 on AFI’s Greatest American Movies List. It was ranked as the #1 musical of all time. I’ve seen 95% of the films on AFI’s Top 100 Movies list and I doubt I’ll ever see this one. Terrible on all levels. Yes, I’m judging a book by its cover. Just like I do to you.
Gobble Gobble Day
Ah, Thanksgiving. The time of year we can give thanks, stuff ourselves to the point of exhaustion, and celebrate that fateful dinner where the Native Americans embraced the Pilgrims with open arms.
Since I started this blog in early June, I’ve had lots of things to be thankful for (personally and cinematically). A few things I’m especially thankful for…
*Spike Jonze making Where the Wild Things Are for reminiscing adults…not for the kids.
*Quentin Tarantino reminding us that he still is one of the best writer/directors in Hollywood.
*My life being significantly more positive than that of Precious.
*Michael Jackson’s death helping to determine which of my Facebook friends are kooks and which ones are normal.
*John Travolta back where he belongs — making bad movies and falling back into obscurity (Wild Hogs, Hairspray, Old Dogs to name a few).
*Going 3 for 3 with my released “Obssessions” — WTWTA, (500) Days of Summer, and Inglorious Basterds were all fantastic. My last two, The Road and Avatar still need to be seen.
*Never feeling the urge to ever read or watch the Twilight series. As someone who easily gets caught into the hype, I feel that I am a better person for it.
*And most importantly…I’m extremely thankful for my beautiful and supportive wife, my wonderful loving family, and always entertaining friends.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
Max et les Maximonstres Trailer
Music in a film trailer is one of the most important aspects in the selling of a movie. If you set the wrong tone or emotions with a bad song choice, audiences will either be confused and not see the film or see the film expecting something different.
The trailer here is a great example of how much a simple song choice can change the entire tone of a film. Here is Max et les Maximonstres or Max and the Monsters or the French trailer for Where the Wild Things Are. Apparently, the French do not care for The Arcade Fire. “Wake Up” was the perfect song for a perfect trailer. But the French version is very interesting and completely different to say the least. The hipster vibe turns to whimsical.
Just to test my trailer music picking skills, I tried out a few other songs to play over the trailer. You, too, can join in on the fun. Simply mute the video, and let your imagination run wild. But let me warn you, the following songs failed miserably:
For some reason, Kurt Cobain repeating “Rape Me” over and over doesn’t quite vibe with a kid film.
These songs changed the tone of the trailer, but worked pretty well:
Peter Bjorn and John “Up Against the Wall”
“Bad” – so literal, so perfect. Might have to edit out “your butt is mine” line. I’m just saying.
I may have to do a mash-up on every new trailer I see. Next up – Black Eyed Peas “Boom Boom Pow” over the Precious Trailer. Nothing says “pregnant with your daddy’s baby and on welfare” like a good party song.
Alice In Wonderland Posters
When I first heard the announcement of this film, I was really excited. Tim Burton + Alice in Wonderland + IMAX 3-D! On paper that’s a recipe for something almost as special as my wife’s Chicken Tortilla Soup. Almost.
But then I realized that everyone has simply fallen in love with the idea of Tim Burton…not the actual work itself.
I remember how great the idea of Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory sounded. Eh.
I remember how pumped I was for a Tim Burton helmed Planet of the Apes. Blah.
Sleepy Hollow. Snore.
Has Tim Burton lost his mojo? After the jump are three just released posters from the new Alice in Wonderland. Johnny Depp still looks like Elijah Wood. The Cheshire Cat looks wonderfully creepy. And I love the look of Tweedle Dee and Dum. But something is off. And I can’t put a finger on it.
We here at Film Savior are cautiously following this one — hoping for the best, expecting the worst.
Tim Burton – What have you done for me lately? See the posters after the jump… Continue reading “Alice In Wonderland Posters” »
A Random Tangent: Sweet, Sweet Love
Since my sister and her husband live up in Portland, Oregon, I’ll randomly check their 10 day forecast. I have no real reason to check the weather here in Southern California. It’s annoyingly predictable: 72 degrees and sunny. All Los Angeles weather newscasters should be fired. Seriously, what are they doing? When I saw the Portland forecast, I had to laugh. They have enough rain to help a stripper retire. Then a random thought popped into my head. How do you function in a town where the weather simply does not let up? Do you call in sick to work and stay in your pajamas all day? Do you brave the elements and actually go about your business? I thought long and hard and could not figure out how you people outside of Southern California handle it. So I did what I usually do to solve any problems, questions and issues I may have. I went into my movie memory base. How does a downpour of rain effect an individual? Suddenly an LED light bulb popped above my head. Rain + No Umbrella = SWEET, SWEET LOVE.
Now stick with me here. I have the proof in how rain makes a person mad (via movies, of course). You can’t tell me that you didn’t first profess your love for your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, grandma, whatever, under the downpour of the elements. When it was sunny, you could care less. Now it’s pouring rain, you are in love. If you are still reading this, you know what I’m talking about. Even Rusty, that Golden Retriever next to you has experienced this downpour of emotion through your soaking wet jeans.
Here is proof of what rain will do to you. It makes you mad. It stirs up passion. And you’ll forget all about the hood and umbrella.
Example 1: This particular individual was waiting 7 years for this dude. 7 years! She hates him. Wants nothing to do with him. Uh oh…the rain is falling. Scratch that, she wants to make sweet love! See proof HERE.
Example 2: According to these Men’s Wearhouse Tuxedo Rental Terms and Conditions, I don’t think a soaking wet tux would be considered damaged. Great news. If you happen to be at a fancy charity event or a groomsman at a wedding, be prepared if it starts to rain. Something strange will build up inside of you (no, not that). You’ll feel the sudden urge to run outside in the pouring rain and profess your love to “the one.” Don’t be surprised when it happens. When you find her, stop trying to talk to or kiss her indoors. The hours she spent on her hair and makeup is irrelevant. Remember: Rain + No Umbrella = SWEET, SWEET LOVE. More proof HERE! (Note: I am a straight man who absolutely loves this movie…sorry ladies, but I am already taken. And not to ruin the ending, but Rosebud was a sled.)
Example 3: Sometimes the rain works AGAINST you. It’s the equivalent of beer goggles. There you are, having a normal day of dressing up in spandex. And then it rains. Shoot. What to do. And then that girl with the annoying face and yellow teeth (yes, Kirsten Dunst) confronts you. At least you have the mask on…no one will know it’s you. Take her to the back alley…time for some swee—wait. Let’s try something different. How about I hang upside down. That way I really don’t have to look at you. Ah yes, time for sweet, sweet lovin. See it HERE!
Example 4: Don’t you dare wipe that rain off your face. It’s pouring at an obnoxious pace. You probably can’t even see right now. That’s OK, though. All that’s on your brain is SWEET, SWEET LOVE. See the overwhelming facts HERE.
So there you have it. Rain. Metaphorically it represents passion — but realistically, it’s just really annoying.
Monopoly the Movie: Worst Idea Ever?
I’ve realized that this blog has become way too cynical. Every new piece of movie news gets scoffed at and ridiculed. But look what I’ve tried to absorb over the past 2 days: Clash of the Titans remake trailer trying entirely too hard to appease to the teens, announcement for Risk: The Movie (we will post about this later), story revelations on Battleship: The Movie (hint – it involves aliens), and a Berenstain Bears live action movie (this might not be so bad). As someone who is as passionate about film as I am, these ridiculous announcements from Hollywood really disturb me. Hollywood has become all about business over the past 15 years and less about art. Original ideas are extremely rare. You almost have to look towards the foreign film directors now to capture the brilliance we once had in the United States in the 1960′s and 70′s. For every Paul Thomas Anderson, Noah Baumbach, Spike Jonze, and Quentin Tarantino there are a thousand hacks simply doing it for the money (hello, Brett Ratner). Sad. But I digress…
We told you awhile ago that Ridley Scott (yes, the Ridley Scott that directed Gladiator, Alien, Blade Runner, Black Hawk Down) would be directing Monopoly: The Movie. That news disturbed me. The producer of the film (Frank Beddor) has opened up about his brilliant ideas for the story to the L.A. Times. His ideas and the direction this film are so laughable, so ridiculous, and so asinine, I will simply quote him word for word. Please do not have a coffee, tea, beer, or water in front of you as you read. You just might spit all over your monitor.
“I created a comedic, lovable loser who lives in Manhattan and works at a real estate company and he’s not very good at his job but he’s great at playing Monopoly. And the world record for playing is 70 straight days – over 1,600 hours – and he wanted to try to convince his friends to help him break that world record. They think he is crazy. They kid him about this girl and they’re playing the game and there’s this big fight. And he’s holding a Chance card and after they’ve left he says, ‘Damn, I wanted to use that Chance card,’ and he throws it down. He falls asleep and then he wakes up in the morning and he’s holding the Chance card, and he thinks, ‘That’s odd.’”
“He’s all groggy and he goes down to buy some coffee and he reaches into his pocket and all he has is Monopoly money. All this Monopoly money pours out. He’s confused and embarrassed and the girl reaches across the counter and says, ‘That’s OK.’ And she gives him change in Monopoly money. He walks outside and he’s in this very vibrant place, Monopoly City, and he’s just come out of a Chance Shop. As it goes on, he takes on the evil Parker Brothers in the game of Monolopy. He has to defeat them. It tries to incorporate all the iconic imageries — a sports car pulls up, there’s someone on a horse, someone pushing a wheelbarrow — and rich Uncle Pennybags, you’re going to see him as the maître d’ at the restaurant and he’s the buggy driver and the local eccentric and the doorman at the opera. There’s all these sight gags.”
Dear Mr. Beddor,
Take the “lovable” out, and you’ve described your idea. This plot makes a Wayans Brothers script look like it was written by James Joyce. Terrible by all means.
1981 vs. 2010: Clash of the Titans Trailers
There’s a special place in my heart for the original Clash of the Titans. Do you remember the giant Scorpions? How about the Perseus vs. Medusa fight scene (Do NOT look into her eyes!)? I love old school Claymation. There’s something brilliantly cheesy about it. Want to know what isn’t brilliant? CGI for the sake of CGI. Yes, we have the capability to create almost anything for the screen. But it isn’t always necessary. This was my main concern when I heard about the Clash of the Titans remake of the 1981 film version. The story remains the same. It focuses on the myth of Perseus and his quest to battle both Medusa and the Kraken monster in order to save the Princess Andromeda. If we had overload of Claymation in 1981, imagine the amount of CGI in 2010. Oh joy!
Last night, the teaser trailer for Clash of the Titans: When Steroids Attack was released.
Before watching both trailers, let’s compare a few casting notes. Continue reading “1981 vs. 2010: Clash of the Titans Trailers” »
“A Single Man” Trailer
THIS is how you make a trailer. TEASE the audience. Don’t TELL the audience the entire story including the ending. Watching the 2nd Avatar trailer was like reading the Cliff Notes version of a Shakespeare story in high school. You get the entire plot in quick snippets which leaves no real reason to read the actual book (or see the film).
This trailer for A Single Man teases, haunts, and sticks in your mind. Oddly, it gives no hint at the gay romance storyline. I guess they are trying to sell to YOU, Anytown, U.S.A. Sorry to ruin the surprise.
Based on the novel of the same name by Christopher Isherwood, the picture stars Colin Firth as George Falconer, a gay British college professor living in Southern California. Julianne Moore plays one of his ex-lovers and a drunken mess of a friend and Jim (Matthew Goode) is his long-time lover in flashback. We follow him through a single day, where a series of encounters, ultimately leads him to decide if there is a meaning to life after Jim.
I’ll admit, that synopsis sounds like it could be a snoozer. But early word from the Venice Film Festival is that it’s a brilliant piece of work. It’s directed by first time director/famous fashion designer Tom Ford. You know, THIS Tom Ford. Colin Firth is the lead actor and is already said to be a shoe-in for Best Actor nod.
We here at Film Savior will take the bullet (and $12) for you. As soon as it opens in the U.S., we’ll see it and give you the full monty review.
In the meantime, go see the other Man movie. A Serious Man by the Coen Brothers. Brilliant. Hilarious. Dark. Almost perfect.
When Guttenberg Speaks, You Listen
It’s hard to imagine it, but there used to be a time when our economy was strong, children played in the parks without worry, and Bloods had Thanksgiving dinner with Crips. These were the good times. These were the days of Steve Guttenberg in his prime. When Guttenberg is relevant, all is good in the world. He proved to the world that 3 Men could handle one baby. And more importantly, he showed us the discipline, honor, and hard work it takes to become a police officer. Steve Guttenberg was one of Steven Spielberg’s T-Mobile “5 Faves” in the 80′s. George Lucas would confide in him on Star Wars special effects. And then, suddenly, Mr. Guttenberg disappeared into obscurity.
Yes, I’m aware of his Dancing With the Stars debacle. All I could think of was the The Oyster Bar (I love all who get this reference). And I’m aware that he keeps popping up on random TV shows. But the only Steve Guttenberg the world wants to see is the Steve Guttenberg of the 80′s. My Our wish just might come true.
BREAKING NEWS! Steve Guttenberg has revealed to WENN that Disney is currently developing Three Men and a Bride. We’ve met the baby. We have all seen the Little Lady. Now she is going to be a bride. It has almost been 20 long and grueling years waiting for this wonderful news. The trilogy will be complete!
And that’s not all! I hope you are sitting down for these earth shattering prospects. Guttenberg also discussed his three other great franchises: Police Academy, Short Circuit (not to be confused with Wall-E), and Cocoon.
“It’s definitely time for another Police Academy. And I think they could make another Cocoon. They’re surefire hits and I think they’re good for the world. They make the world a better place and that’s what it’s all about.”
You can’t make this stuff up. And Mr. Guttenberg is 100% right…Police Academy movies really do “make the world a better place.”
Stay tuned for our next update: Conrad Bain – Greatest Actor of his Generation?
The Art of the Title
For many films, the opening title sequence is as important as the script itself. This sequence, although subtle to the casual eye, can reveal a wealth of information and story background in just a few minutes. Instead of forced exposition, the title sequence can tell you what, when, and where quickly without wasting your time with bad dialogue. There is a great site that is solely dedicated to these opening titles: www.theartofthetitle.com
One of my favorite opening sequences is from Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo & Juliet. Luhrmann took the unusual angle of creating a modern twist on the classic Shakespeare story while keeping the Shakespearian speak intact. This is a surefire way to scare off the audience pretty quickly. In order to communicate Shakespeare’s prologue while setting the film in the modern world, they decided to use today’s media to report the violence and background of the Montague’s and Capulet’s. You learn quickly that this ain’t your great-great-great-great grandmother’s Shakespeare. You quickly meet all of the main characters, learn about the feud, and really get brought into their world.
According to Luhrmann, “The idea is to find modern images and equivalents that could decode the language of Shakespeare. What’s interesting here is that…you hear the prologue once and when we go inside the news report you’ll hear it a second time. The same speech appears twice to give the audience the chance to acclimatize their ear to the language.”
I was just reminded of the brilliance of this film after re-watching this opening. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. It has a killer soundtrack, great actors, and definitely is like no other film around. Yes, that’s Paul Rudd as “The Governor’s Son”. And doesn’t Brian Dennehy have an odd resemblance to Ted Kennedy?
Check out the sequence HERE